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Arena Transcripts

“What do we got?”

“Warlock and a shammy. Shammy is… enhancement? No, has a shield. Not resto. Elemental.”

“Ah. Warlock then?”

“It’ll be an easier kill, he isn’t sporting soul link.”

“Gotcha. Going after the lock!”

“He’s… Bloodlust, oh no…”

“I’m dead.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“What happened!?”

“Behold, the Bloodlust zerg. We basically completely failed to bring our mace and got raped.”

“How… how could we die so fast?!”

“I’m guessing this 4k Chain Lightning mighta had something to do with it.”

“Needz more resilience.”

-=-

“Alright. Hunter and a… dunno. Stealthed.”

“Druid?”

“No Mark, probably a rogue. Wh- Hunter just disappeared?”

“Ah. Night elf. Shadowmeld.”

“Ahh. Kitty!”

“Kill it!”

“Kitty is dead! Yay!”

“Yay!”

“Hunter inc! Is that a… warrior? Yeah, it’s a warrior.”

“Bah, I hate Mortal Str- HOLY CRAP THAT IS NOT A WARRIOR OH GOD OH GOD HOLY CRAAAAP.”

“Damnit.”

“No! S’ok! I bubbled with 162 hitpoints left. We’re good! How’s the hunter?”

“Dead now.”

“Excellent. So that totally wasn’t a warrior.”

“I gathered that from your frantic screaming.”

-=-

“I really hate Ring of Valor.”

“Yeah. Me too. The pillars are such cheap whores.”

“Have we even won here yet?”

“Yeah. Once. Something like 8 losses, though.”

“Poop.”

“Yes. Want to buy reliable humping poles.”

“Warrior Paladin. Kill the paladin?”

“Obviously.”

“I don’t think this warrior knows where the hamstring button is.”

-=-

“I see a Death Knight and… nothing. Druid?”

“No mark, probably a rogue.”

“Could be. Or a clev-Death Knight is comin-SAPPED.”

“Aaand, stunlocked.”

“Damn, you’re dying fast. Alright, I… am frozen. And now I’m blind. And now you’re dead.”

“Yep. Damn CC chains.”

“In retrospect, I probably should have bubbled.”

“YOU *&!^@ &*^@ MUNCHING &*@!”

-=-

“Priest aaand… hunter. Discipline, probably. Don’t let yourself get dragged out into the open, that’s what the hunter wants. Stay close to walls and LOS.”

“Hunter first.”

“Pull back, you’re out in the open. Yeah, see, force ‘im to come to us. Feared, trinket.”

“I love being undead.”

“Shut ut up, you. Pull back here.”

“Heh, fight reset.”

“Coming down.”

*Minutes pass*

“Damn, got pulled into the open again. What kinda hunter was that?”

“Survival. Explosive Shot is the stuff of nightmares. S’alright. It’s late, you’re tired, I’m just going to use this opportunity to practice pillar humping. It is our first night after all.”

*Is at 10% mana and 30% HP*

“Heehee. They’re using slash pity on you!”

“Around and around we go!”

“Are you just kiting them around in circles?”

“… Yes.”

*Minutes pass*

“I can’t believe I’m still alive.”

“Why is the hunter not doing any… the hunter disconnected!”

“Did he?!”

“He was jus’ standing there, now he’s gone!”

“Hahaha! Just me and the priest then?”

“Ayep!”

“Pillar humping for the win!”

“Dude, you’re nearly back to full health and mana!”

“Let’s just say that Replenishment is awesome. Oh, he’s drinking! There will be none of that!”

“No, dude, stay outta combat and rez me!”

“… yeah, that would definitely be the far more intelligent thing to do.”

*Casts Redepmtion, Holy Light, Flash of Light.*

“Two against one. Here he comes!”

“Baaaaahahaha! Look at ‘im run!”

“Kill him! Kill him! Aahahaha!”

*Priest dies*

“There is no way that was fair.”

“Oh man. How long did that take? Ahaha! Nearly fifteen minutes!”

“Guy’s probably pissed as hell.”

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Newbie Tips for the Arena

Season 6 is right around the corner, and it’s shaping up to be a rather “new guy” friendly place. With all teams starting at 0 rating, a team has nowhere to go but up. No more will your moral be dampened by watching your rating go down for three weeks solid when you start.

If that wasn’t enough, arena gear is being offered for those with lower ratings. Even if you have a “mere” 1400 rating, there’s still arena gear you meet the requirements for and can purchase.

Of course the gear won’t be the same quality as, say, a 2400 arena team has access to, but still. It’s something, which is a whole lot better than the nothing new players had in previous seasons.

So if you’re new to arenas, maybe just dabbling in them for the first time, or just haven’t played them in a long, long time, here’s a quick primer of things to get you started. (more…)

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Orders of Business

Hooooookay.

First, much apologies for the site outage. I’m not sure what happened, I suspect that twitter whatever haberdashery caused some coding issues. A new twitter widget added to wordpress? Then all the wordpress blogs suddenly fail to load? Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

It took something like six hours to even post those four words yesterday or whenever it was. It might have been a few days ago, I dunno; I’ve sort of spent the last 15 hours reading the entirety of Least I Could Do. Not exactly wise to start an archive binge when you first find the comic at 3am.

Dude’s been updating nearly every day since 2003. That’s a lot of damn comics. I think my brain hurts, and I now have a massive repertoire of pick-up lines ranging from terrible to hilariously awful to hate crime.

Secondly, has anyone else seen the Filefront closure? Like… seriously, holy crap, guys! There’s over 48 terabytes of downloadable content there! I can’t… I can’t even imagine how much porn that would store. Unless it’s uncompressed avi files. Then we’d get… what, five hours?

This had better beone of the crueler April Fool’s tricks out there, or I am going to be unreasonably sad at the loss of what is, essentially, a glorified digital museum full of priceless junk.

Some would say “free” or “worthless”, but those people are the same morons who always ask Guitar Hero and Rock Band players “Why don’t you play a real instrument?”

I don’t know, candle wax for brains, why don’t you ask that dude over there playing COD4 why he doesn’t go get a real machine gun and kill people? Why don’t you ask that guy playing Command & Conquer to get a real army of tanks and invade the soviet union? (more…)

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(Part Three) Nerfy Nerfy Fear Fear

(Sung to the tune of the happy happy joy joy song.)

So FINALLY, after endlessly rambling about stuff, I get to ramble about the specifics. It’s all well and good to call for a split between PvE and PvP, but without giving precise details, I just sound like nut job.

So here we go. Specifics.

1. Eliminate hit mechanics from PvP.

Not all hit mechanics, obviously. Just the base miss chance that all players have against all other players.

Currently, when you cast a spell at an opposing player, you have a 96% chance to hit them. Only 4% of your spells will actually miss, so generally speaking a player without any hit in their PvP gear won’t see very many misses.

What happens to you if that tiny 4% chance to miss pops up right when you cast that super necessary crowd control?

It’s an egregious RNG mechanic that flat out needs to be eliminated. It’s as simple as adjusting a player’s base hit against other players to 100%.

Other than that, nothing else changes. If a DK wants to pick up that Frigid Dreadplate talent, that will continue to work as normal.

Conveniently, this allows for the elimination of all hit from PvP gear, thus placing yet another barrier between PvP and PvE content gear. (more…)

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“Nerf fear?!” I can hear the scorned ‘locks cry, “but it’s already such an unreliable spell! And what the hell are you calling for nerfs to it, anyways? Seriously, f*bleep* you and your f*bleepity* Mage Armor!”

(Or Magic Absorption, the two are basically interchangeable at this point.)

Oh, I hear ya. And I agree. In a clutch moment, where you absolutely need that key CC to go off, and seeing “Resist” on your screen has got to be one of the most painful things to experience.

I’ve experienced the same damn thing plenty with Counterspell and Polymorph.

Allow me to illustrate my overall point via a stupid bullet point list thing:

  • 30% chance to resist any counterspell effect
  • Reduces the duration of any counterspell effect by 30%

Or how about:

  • 50% chance that Fear will be resisted
  • The duration of Fear reduced by 50%

Or maybe: (more…)

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Just Some Food for Thought

Much has been discussed of the class make-up of the top ten teams on the official arena tournament realms (though nearly every discussion tends to devolve into either DK/Pally bashing or flame fests where the european players call the american players “skill-less cockmonglers”).

You can read the MMO Champion post in it’s entirety here, though really the only important part are these two graphs: the class makeup for the US realms, and the EU realms here.

Nearly every discussion on this comes down to how overpowered Death Knights or Paladins are, and if it doesn’t do that, then the poor players on the US realms get flamed for being FotM imbeciles.

Note: It stands for “Flavour of the Month”.

What many people fail to realize is that standing behind every successful Death Knight there’s a paladin. And not just any paladin, but a Holy paladin. And even then, there’s either a hunter or a warlock standing somewhere nearby, too.

The class(es) in themselves aren’t overpowered. It’s when you combine them with other classes that powerful synergy breaks out and renders that specific composition of classes much more powerful than any of them alone. (more…)

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Arena: Basic Philosophy

The important things are always simple

There is no perfect magic trick to winning an arena fight. There isn’t a certain combination of spells that requires a warlock specced exactly 40/0/31, a fury warrior, and the mage trinket from Heroic Whatever that guarantees a win every time.

The advanced strategies are merely the basics, just with macros attached to them.

The simple things are always hard

That isn’t to say it’s easy; not by a long shot. Is it hard? Blimey, of course it is. It’s difficult to pull off a proper CC train. It’s difficult to pull of a target swap at the right time. It’s difficult to counter a CC train. It’s difficult to survive a target swap.

Yet the strategies you need to win, you probably learned before you acquired your first mount. You need only master them. (more…)

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Euripedes: Hey Ghostcrawler, we mages haven’t heard anything from you guys in a while. What’s up, man? Back in beta, it was all mages all the time.

Ghostcrawler: Ahh… you know, it’s all these Paladins and Warlocks. It’s… well, you know.

Euripedes: I hear ya, man. Those guys aren’t happy no matter what ya do fer ‘em. Still, though, that’s no excuse. C’mon, man, I gave ya biscuits in AV!

Ghostcrawler: Alright alright… how ’bout some stuff about arcane mages? We got some damn good stuff ready to roll out, which should get it back into PvE and tone it down a little in PvP. Alsowenerfedblizzard.

Euripedes: Hey, sounds good. Wait… what was that last part?

Note: All bloggers are good friends with the developers of WoW. ALL of us. If a blogger tells you he/she isn’t, they’re lying through their keyboard.

So if you missed it, there’s finally some mage news on the horizon. Lo and behold, it’s exactly what we thought it was. Arcane gets the fixes we all were waiting for, and Blizzard gets nerfed. Who didn’t see that one coming? (more…)

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raflogoGood Lord, what a boring title for a post.

3.0.3 is upon us, and for mages, all we have to look at, with few exceptions, is a long list of stupid bug fixes. Yay! Also, yay. I feel for the paladins, though. Holy wall of math, batman!

I will not be mentioning any of the bug fixes; suffice to say, they were stupid in both awesome and… well, stupid ways. Molten Shields not working? Boo! Blastwave getting a 230% crit chance? Yay! Take that, RNG! Of course, these need fixin’, but that doesn’t stop it from being as boring as watching paint peel.

Deep Freeze now properly consuming a FoF charge? Aww, poop. I liked that bug.

So then. What does this patch have for us? (more…)

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Nerfing Slow? Really?

On Arcane being overpowered:

Arcane barrage isnt the problem. Slow is the problem. Reduce its pvp duration to 10 seconds.

~ Some guy named Bloone

We are strongly considering this

~ Some guy named Ghostcrawler
Ya know, I find that Arcane seems to be falling into the exact same pattern that Retribution has. Both trees were, roughly speaking, abysmal for PvP. Even in specific compositions designed purely to take advantage of what few strengths they did have, they were rarely successful and incredibly difficult and frustrating to play.

Mages and Paladins actually have a few shared issues in PvP. The one thats pertinent here was the need to stop moving and cast. Arena combat is incredibly hostile towards spells that have a cast time. This is why Paladin healers consistently failed in high end arena. This is why high end frost mages tend to avoid casting frostbolt. Stopping to cast Polymorph is already risky enough. (more…)

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