You Don’t Know if This is a Meta-Post

Technically speaking, all blogs are a form of social networking. I type stuff, you read the stuff I type, sometimes you type me back and I read that too, which prompts me to type more stuff, and so forth.

It is a delayed conversation, akin to a forum. There are regulars, friends, a whole community of people that all share something in here. Some of you are here for magery, some of you are simply looking for a way to delay working. Not that I’m criticizing or anything, I used to spend entire shifts playing bubble bobble and tetris.

Point is, I sort of take the role of head administrator. If this was a church, I’d be the head priest, giving sermons, preaching to my flock of eager destruction enthusiasts, and I’d have office hours open for one on one time.

Note: next time a prospective employer asks what your hobbies are, tell them you’re a “destruction enthusiast”. Guaranteed success!

You, the reader, would come in for the daily sermon, nod to those you recognize in the congregation, listen to my speech, then retire to the main atrium for strudel and discuss the day’s lessons, perhaps pointing out flaws, adding your own ideas, and so forth.

But what happens when that group of people gets too big? Going from an audience of hundreds to thousands doesn’t have too much of an impact, but what happens when that number starts reaching into the area of tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands?

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In&Out Blogger

Ridiculously quick post from me today.

So there’s this bug where, if you dual spec whilst leveling, the spells/abilities/etc on your offspec’s bars don’t exactly update properly when you level.

I can’t even begin to count the number of people who got called out by RankWatch for this and flushed in embarrassment. There’s been blog posts, blog comments, threads on every single WoW forum and fan forum.

But uh.

There’s a solution.

Little addon called “UpRank” that automatically scans your action bars and replaces any low rank spell with the highest level version you know. It works with Dominos just fine, so I assume it works with any bar replacement mod.

As I’ve said before, you can’t patch stupid, but there sure as hell are addons for every one of our little brainless moments.

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No Achievement? No Problem!

So there exists an addon called “Underachiever”. What this addon does is allow you to link fake achievements.

Let’s say I want to do Digimon, the latest boss in Archavon’s vault. I whisper a raid leader, and he says “whisper achiev or no inv”. But I haven’t done the guy yet! What do I do now?

Well, you could always just not get the invite because the raid leader is an idiotic prick. The guy probably backpedals in PvP! But then… what does that gain you? You miss out on a dull, boring loot pinata boss, but then again, you aren’t looking to raid VoA for actual difficult content, are you? No, you are there for the loot pinata, not the loot hungry-man-eating-jaguar-hiding-in-the-jungle-somewhere.

Solution? Grab the Underachiever addon, and you will automaticall win any and every epeen contest without any difficulty. As much as I despise curse.com, here’s a link. Terrible site, but the addon is worth it.

Anyway, this Underachiever thing is a very robust addon. You can link any achievement in your log, and it will show up to anyone who clicks on it as if you had completed it. You can specify the date, even specify some parts of an achievement complete and others not, and even fake achievements for other players if you so wish.

And yes, it comes with a complete list of every single Feat of Strength in the game, so you can link those too. Did you earn the Scarab Lord title? Well of course you did, you High Warlord and Gladiator in every season you. Hell, link the “Server first level 80 warlock!” when you’re playing a level 45 paladin if you want.

(Note: it can’t ordinarily link achievements you haven’t “unlocked”. For example, you can’t link the Tribute to Insanity achievement if you haven’t done the Tribute to Skill first for ToGC. BUT. If you have Overachiever installed as well, you totally can, as that shows you every achievement in the game regardless of what you have actually accomplished. And of course, Underachiever can fake all of those easy.)

You ask, what is the point of such an addon? I tell you: EPEEN.

Amongst the unwashed masses, the size of your epeen is the end all, be all stat. It doesn’t matter that you have 4pt10 and can pull 11k DPS on Putricide. What matters is the size of your dick.

With Underachiever, your dick can be however large you want it to be.

See a couple guys arguing in trade chat? They’re linking the “Boned!” and “I’ve Gone and Made a Mess” achievements and slapping their wowcocks all over trade chat?

Link your Lich King 25man kill achievement! The sheer size of your dick smashing into their poor faces will silence them utterly.

You can’t educate these people. You can’t make them smarter, or deal rationally with them. It is foolish and pointless to even try.

The only language they understand is penis.

So link them your Scarab Lord, your Sunwell clears, your Tribute to Insanity 25man achievements.

“But what if they armory me?”

Haha! Ahahaha! Hahaha! Good one!

…

Well, the chances of a wowcocking moron even considering attempting even the most rudimentary of research is laughably low, but if they do… well, the armory is a pretty buggy thing, isn’t it? I mean it isn’t even showing my 4.2k rated 3s arena team!

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Lulz

Wait for it…

Perhaps I’d make a good goblin yet!

This is just too damn funny for words. Do these people even realize how easy it is to farm those things? Not that I’m going to tell them, oh no! 19 gold for about five seconds worth of effort is just so great. I guess I told you guys though. So there’s that.

Shout to ma peeps on Duskwood! Respect y’all! We be piling up da gold in diz hizzouse! What the hell does crunk even mean?

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ASDFGS

I originally thought Lady Gaga was some sort of internet meme, some random quasi-terrible 80’s artist resurrected from the dead for the lulz. Think Rick Astley, but chosen more for tripping balls David Bowie-ism than annoying catchy pop music.

Then I actually went and watched a Gaga video (poker face if you must know) and this basically confirmed the “random resurrected 80’s artist” theory I had going.

It took until stumbling across her wikipedia page for me to realize that she was this new big thing that didn’t even release an album until late 2008. Though it turns out she’s heavily inspired by David Bowie, so at least one theory survived an actual fact check.

To put it charitably, I’ve been completely unaware of this whole phenomenon. Those crazy kids these days and their shenanigans. Which makes me think… does this mean that I’m just so out of touch with popular society as a whole that I somehow managed to miss a sensation that literally tens of millions have been enjoying for over a year? Or does it mean that I’ve managed to become an old fogey before I’m even out of university?

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The Year and Decade that Was

Ordinarily this would be a time of reflection on the years past, and the decade past. We could talk about the war on terror, about the market crash, about the new culture that the internet has facilitated.

But ultimately, why bother? A year is nothing more than a unit of measurement, a decade is simply ten of those. There’s no real difference between 2009 and 2010, or 2008 or 2007. There isn’t a difference between 8pm and 9pm, or 7pm. By themselves they have no meaning. Instead, we assign meaning to them.

2007 was just a year. But I graduated from high school. I got a job. My best friends moved away to far flung corners of the country. One of them fell in love. One of them got drunk all the time. I started a blog about WoW, one currently enjoyed by thousands a day. I raided, I had fun, I earned phat loots and personally wiped everyone on Solarian. I got drunk for the first time. Those two things are not related, I swear.

2008 was also just a year, but so many things happened. I lost my job. Lich King came out. I moved to expert mode on Rock Band. Getting up at 1pm was considered early. And on and on it went.

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Japanese Mandarin Oranges

What’s up with skipping bosses in Old Kingdom? I’ve seen the mushroom dude skipped a couple times, but lately people are skipping nearly all of them. Groups seem to only do the vampirical fire orb boss and the last boss. That’s three badges you’re intentionally skipping! To that I say “double yoo tee eff?”

That’s three badges people! What… why… I don’t get it! If you’re only after the frost badges, that makes sense. I guess being the tank or healer, with your instant queues, skipping a boss here and there doesn’t really matter at all. But when you’re a DPS looking at ten minute queue times, at least, skipping a boss here and there that would take a minute to three minutes to kill is really painful.

So here’s to you, boss skipping tanks: you suck and I hate you.

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Dutch Patriots

Just as I thought, I regret the last post. Bah. Normally I keep “RL” away from the blog, unless a particularly humorous anecdote presents itself and I deem it fit enough to be entertaining. Even that much is pretty close to a once a year phenomenon.

Generally, I always felt people were here under certain expectations, as I was. I’m here to write about WoW, PvP, mages, and so on, and I expect most people are here reading for that. Judging by the amount of e-mails requesting, you know, helpful information and tips (that I’ve been forced to ignore due to impending finals), my feelings have been largely correct.

Consider that whole “sexism in WoW” thing that took the blogosphere by storm back in February over that bunny maker achievement. Remember that? How it required a female toon over level 18? And all the shouting and stamping of feet that went on about objectification? I didn’t cover that here, as I think my own personal politics really have no place here. I don’t talk about religion, gays, women, abortion, or any hot button issues that everyone just loves to argue about.

I mean, I’ll touch on such subjects, but it’s always with tongue planted firmly in cheek. (By the way, the whole over 18 thing, I thought that was simply Blizzard forcing people to go out and find actual people, so achievement hunters couldn’t simply make alts or have a friend make an alt to quickly knock out the achievement. Oh how naive I am.)

Reeyul Lyef has no place here in a zone of fantasy.

Then again, a large number of you loyal readers seem to enjoy nearly anything I write. If I put up a post about how potatoes are actually a weapon designed to enslave the human race, it would probably become my most popular post ever. Last post was a pretty big departure for me, and more than likely it won’t ever happen again.

Still, leaving it up. I’d be more than happy to delete hundreds of posts from this blog, but then what’s the point of blogging in the first place if I’m just going to delete everything?

Besides, trying to hide something I’ve written would be like lying or reverse plagiarism or something. What would you call something that you wrote, but claim you didn’t?

I didn’t write it, I swear! It was the… internet gremlins!

Thanks for the kind words everyone. It was a shitty day and I less than three all of you. ❤

I’d go into a whole bunch of extraneous explanations, philosophies, and other details, but meh… Honestly I’d rather try and forget it ever happened.

I say “try” because I made the mistake of telling my parents, and now they’re shouting for blood and lawsuits. My dad is seeing a lawyer today on my behalf, for instance, to see of suing the city would be a course of action. He wanted to throw flaming garbage at the houses of those who turned me away.

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Forgle Wargle Blurgle

Pilgrim Euripedes?

No thanks. I did every world event loyally, got the titles, the pets, went hunting for specific class/race combos, and then not one goddamn bag of candies dropped in February. Then I realized I just didn’t really care at all. Bah, whatever, and so forth.

Get the midsummer’s title, Flamekeeper, on the very off-chance I spec fire again, but other than that I don’t really bother with world events anymore.

What kind of title is reasonable for an arcane mage anyways? I switch between “of the Nightfall” and “the Undying” these days (by the way, the Black Drake is an amazingly handsome mount, highly recommended, you kinda feel like a Nazgul on that thing), but those are kinda “durr hurr look at me I raid and stuff”.

Buckle down, spam BGs until I get “of the Horde”? Grab Loremaster? Go titleless because it’s just a dorky vanity thing? Whip out “the Explorer” to make people underestimate me in battlegrounds?

Speaking of that, where are all the good male draenei mages? I can’t recall having seen even one since the launch of TBC. Literally every single male draenei mage I have come across has varied somewhere between “awful” and “not quite as awful”.

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Hey Look a Post or Something

Gated unlocking of bosses once again. Yeah, they’re treating the gamers like children, only handling out a few of the candies at one time so the chocolate box will last longer. It’s a bit patronizing[…]

A bit? A bit?! Here I must take the vehement route. Being treated like children is absolutely right, and it isn’t a bit patronizing, it’s patronizing to the point where I expect activating hard mode will generate a warning box that says:

Are you sure? It’s weeally hawd! You might die, and then cwy and be sad!

And then when you wipe the cast of Sesame Street appears and sings a dumb “believe in yourself” song to cheer you up. Maybe Big Bird gives you an ice cream cone that has the flavor text “don’t be sad” or something.

Try to understand something here. Most of us are raiders. You know, people who get together, bring our game faces, our top of the line, researched, gemmed and enchanted gear, and throw ourselves at the hardest content the game has to offer us.

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