Again with the post title snagged from whatever was playing in winamp.
ON BIRTHDAY WISHES
Happy (belated) Birthday Krizzlybear!
I recently realized that last time I raided frost, my DPS was somewhat lower than I expected because I fucking fail at frost mage so very hard.
See, you know how the Brain Freeze lets you fire an instant cast Frostfire Bolt?
Yeah.
Uh.
Woops.
I have no birthday present to offer you, krizzly, just know that when I realized my fail, I facepalmed so hard I created a sonic boom, I thought of you.
Wait… what. No, that came out wrong.
Uhhh….
ON LOBOTOMIZED BLOGGERS
A disclaimer saying “this is a joke guys come on what the hell people” that takes multiple paragraphs to say in an effort not to offend the delicate sensibilities of the wow.com audience.
That is exactly why I like being a little blog with a little audience. No disclaimers here, oh no kind sirs and madams! I will call you my bitches, and I will mean it, and you will laugh, and then you will realize it was a Daikatana reference, and then you will cry. WELCOME TO CQQ.
And here I do quote what I would have done, had I been the mage columnist at wow.com and had to handle the wow.com readership:
To everyone who got so indignant after the warlockian Arcane Brilliance was posted, crowing over and over about how April Fools was last week and this is a news site, that you come here for news, not to be tricked, and you will now go elsewhere for your news: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Oh what? What was that? I insulted your sensibilities? Was your tiny delicate world upset by a tiny deviation in your schedule? Are you so fundamentally retarded that you actually consider wow.com a premier news site? (There goes my chance to ever write there, lol.) How many times were you dropped on your head as a child that such blatant sarcasm actually tricked you? How pathetic can you possibly be to think “/unsubscribe” is actually a threat to anyone?
OH NOES I HURT YOUR FEELINGS MY BAD HERE’S A LOLLIPOP.
wait what I didn't mean it that way oh god what is this my name isn't even henry WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR MOUTH
On a related note, why do warlocks complain so much about hunters? Warlocks screw hunters over so hard it’s barely even funny. Of course, hunters screw over mages so hard that maybe warlocks are just jealous?
Why don’t we all play nice and go dominate us some paladins, eh? Eh? Fine, fuck you guys too. Never liked you trigger happy gunmongers and fear spamming douchemonkeys anyway.
I tried to be nice, and look what it got me. Scatter trapped deathcoil feared can’t do that while silenced. FFFFFFF.
ON THAT ROBERT DOWNEY JR MOVIE WHERE EVERYONE PRETENDS HE’S SHERLOCK HOLMES FOR SOME REASON
I did like the movie. It was extremely faithful to the actual, original, non-white-washed-by-society Sherlock Holmes.
I never did understand why Holmes was ever made out to be some hoity toity lawful good uber hero. The dude gets so high he has magic adventures with watson and his magical mayonnaise unicorn when he gets bored. Holmes is the original gritty detective! He’d be right at home in Sin City!
But, as there is always a but.
Downey did not, to me, come across as Holmes. Everyone else was brilliant (especially Judge Law, that is his name right?), but… Downey did not make a good Holmes. I wasn’t watching Holmes and Watson shimmy about solving crime, I was watching Robert Downey Jr and Watson shimmy about solving crime.
I can’t really describe it beyond that. Downey just never convinced me that he was something other than Downey. His fault? Director’s fault? My fault? Don’t know, but hell that was hard to get past.
ON ROGER EBERT
“Vidja games ain’t bein’ art!”
Yeah, yeah, shut up ya old coot.
ON WOLVAR ORPHAN
I got this on the mage last year, and was thoroughly “meh” towards it. Busted it out a few times in Ulduar, but nowadays if I have a pet out it’s lil KT. Even after all this time, the laugh. The laugh!
Got it on the paladin this year. Now, somehow, this pet is completely different. Completely. It is exactly the same as it was when I did the quest on the mage a year ago, but somehow… somehow the paladin loves the little guy.
I gave him hugs (violent ones, I am a ret paladin you know), flew around on a dragon, pointed and laughed at the humans in Dalaran, mocked walrusmen… me and likkle Kekek had an absolute blast.
And when the quest was over… I dunno, apparently I had a stroke. I was genuinely sad that my adventures with little Kekek as at an end.
Apparently I forgot that he mailed himself to me not ten seconds later. I promptly treated him to a steak dinner.
Then I logged off and played my shaman for a while, and could not for the life of me remember why the hell I cared so much about some stupid non-combat pet.
Until I logged back into the paladin, summoned the thing, and my heart absolutely melted all over again and I found myself gibbering like a fool, running around in Thunder Bluff, likkle Kekek on my back, and we bustled around making cow tipping jokes.
Is… is this what RP is like? I feel like I am going mad.
And yes, I am avoiding battlegrounds completely due to orphan week.
I know, I know, everyone and their orphan are blithering about orphan week (AGAIN), but look. I PvP because it actually takes a reasonable amount of skill to do well at it. We can argue all we want about relative BG skill levels, but suffice to say playing a BG well takes significantly more effort on my part than questing, running dungeons or raiding. Hence my interest.
I have no interest in tearing into battlegrounds and destroying all the dazed and confused people just trying to get an achievement done. I’d go spend some time with a test dummy in Orgrimmar if all I wanted to do was beat on pinatas for a while.
Let’s be honest here. Quite a few of those trying to do this achievement are little more than pinatas. These are people who would otherwise never venture into a battleground. More often than not, they don’t even fight back. They just stand there, waiting for the inevitable end.
It’s worse when they do fight back. My heart is filled with pity. Just… what are you doing. It is absolutely sad to watch. Like watching some poor child whose mother drank herself to liver poisoning during each trimester; watching this child fail at the most basic of tasks; watching them struggle to even turn themselves around.
And I do quote myself, written May 5th, 2009:
What I mind is all these poor sods queueing up for battlegrounds that haven’t the foggiest idea how to PvP, whether it’s on the tactical or strategical level.
A mage sporting naxx-25 gear with some Ulduar stuff sporting a server first kill of Sartharion and a raiding arcane spec is an impressive sight, no doubt.
But on the PvP front? He becomes nothing more than a hunk of meat hurled at the jaws of a hungry dog. Honestly, with only 15k health and zero resilience, I’m watching him only to see how fast he can die.
Read the post in its entirety here. Still relevant today, despite being a year old. Fancy that.
It breaks my heart to watch. Honorable kill my ass, there is nothing honorable in defeating an unarmed cardboard box in a duel.
This year, I refuse to participate.
Critical QQ 
I agree with the Save the Cardboard Boxes initiative, but it is an easy way to get that Eye of the Storm achievement Sstormtrooper. Too bad I’m absorbed with Just Cause 2 at the moment.
Once I got my Violet Protodrake on my mage. I suddenly had the crazy idea to go through it again on my pally. I got both the Lunar Festival and Noblegarden done but there was no way I would have stood a chance trying to get the PVP achievement on him.
With him being an alt I’ve yet to PVP and there was no way I was gonna run around in either my heroic ret set or T9 tanking set. There would have been no way I would have lasted. Oh well, maybe next year if I bother to get some PVP gear for him.
You’d actually have reasonable success if you went in with your prot spec and prot gear.
You wouldn’t be as tough as the top-of-the-line gladiators or anything, but by sheer virtue of being a protection paladin you are way tougher than you give yourself credit for in a PvP scenario.
This is pretty accurate. Same works for feral bear.
On behalf of all the cardboard boxes, I thank you…although I’m boycotting the achievement purely on principle. I don’t like PvP and in fact am horrible at it.
I assure you, the PvE players that have to get exposed to the melting of their faces for that achievement hate Children’s Week MORE than you.
I am very well aware of that. I said as much in the previous post I linked (I didn’t really want to copy past the entire previous post).
Suffice to say, the PvP guys hate the PvE guys ruining the BGs, the PvE guys hate being there, both sides hate blizzard for keeping such a horrific achievement in place.
If it makes you feel any better, I won’t be tainting BG’s with my orphan next year.
Unless, of course, they change it to something more tollerable. (ie: get 50 HK’s with your orphan so it can get scarred for life.)
I’ve never really understood the vitriol that gets flung at the PVE people for this week alone.
In any given BG, on my battlegroup alliance-side, we’ll be lucky to have HALF of our numbers with 23k+ hp before buffs. On average, we’ll see maybe a QUARTER of the team play like they actually have a clue.
So the influx of PVE-geared and -specced cardboard boxes really doesn’t change things much.
I’m sure it’s different on other battlegroups where they don’t consistently have to play five to ten games just for the daily 25 arena points. But idiots are a universal.
(There’s an interesting idea for reflection … “what has WoW taught me about human nature?”)
The Wolvar Norphan brings even pickled hearts out of retirement. I love mine so much I wuv him.
*SHAME*
You know, I almost called it a “norphan” in the post, and I was thinking “now, why would I try and call it a norphan?”
IT WAS YOU.
Feel no shame at loving your orphan! I don’t care what toon you play, keep that non-com pet out all the time!
Horde out with your Ward out!
Jesus Christ that hair is frightening.
My guild has a small group of PvPers, and they decided to go into AB, some time this past week for BGs sake, and I did not hear them die at all in the battle that I was on vent for. I can only imagine judging from the maniacal laughter of the warrior that the alliance were not happy. I debated trying for the achievement, being somewhat not horrible at battlegrounds with a decent PvP set, but after hearing that the que for AB was three hours on sunday, I decided against it, it sounded horrible, and I pretty much gave up after failing hollows end.
These childrens week people have no idea how to react in PVP. At least have the common sense to move out of flamestrike..I wonder if 2 instant flame strikes stack or override another?
I am levelling my partner’s mage (almost lvl 70) through quests and instances. Being frost in an instance, she can easily beat other damage classes, but she is an one trick pony. Good old Blizzard. Much like hunter’s volley in instances or rogue’s fan of knives. I kept seeing the instant fireball/frost fire ball pop up but thought it was a free frost bolt cast. I can see why people go frost in PVP, but I will stick with fire til the ends of time!
The dot ticks overwrite unless a different rank. So two different rank flame strikes give double the ticks (well, 1.8 x the ticks)
No way!!! Gonna add the lower rank to my bar.
I enjoyed children’s week in the BGs this yeah. Maybe not the first few days, but after that people were there till the end and trying.
Maybe all the hard core Horde took a vacation, but I had fun and it wasn’t all kicking boxes.
I absolutely declined to do the achievement last year, but this year I insisted on finishing it for the 100 mounts achi (anything for the sake of not having to go to the Tournament and do dailies). I hated every second of it (as a holy pally trying to kill the flag carrier in WSG is just stupid) because it’s just not holy pally’s job trying to do any of the stuff mentioned in the requirements.
Now I may be a cardboard box, but atleast I have a clue on what you’re supposed to do in a bg. I sometimes PvP for fun or for other people’s enjoyment (a personal non-squishy healer is nice, I guess) so the bg/PvP -aspect of the achievement was not the issue, I had more trouble with having to, if not ruin, hamper our success by doing something un-healer-like. Especially when Horde in our battlegroup seem to be retarded even without Children’s Week.
..绳锯木断，水滴石穿..太深。
哥 你写的博客怎么着也得让后世的研究者们折腾上半个世纪。
楼上真会说，呵呵……顶一个！