Archive for July, 2009

Scout Report has Updated!


How long has it been? Months? Years?

Whatever, who cares, there’s a new one, hopefully just the start of a long string of new ones.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I maaaay have accidentally wet my pants just now, so I’ll need to go fix that.

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Now With 35% More CoC

For those of you who don’t frequent the public mage forums or haven’t heard of this awesome site, here’s a bunch of hilarious pick up lines you can put to great effect in the bars of Dalaran.

You must be hit capped, cause there’s no way I can resist you.

So I heard you had a thing for barnyard animals.

I hope you find crying and whining sexy, because I’m really good at it.

You know, my magical hat isn’t the only thing that’s pointed…

[Insert innuendo here referring to an epic wand.]

WAIT WAIT! I can keep going! My evocate cooldown’s nearly done!

Hey baby, I noticed you had me targeted from across the room, so I blinked over here to conjure you a drink.

Oh, you already have a boyfriend? That’s cool, I can spellsteal.

Well hey, I got my four piece, so I can go two or three times in a row! Sometimes even five times!

How ’bout I port you to my place? Don’t worry, this one’s on me.

Ghostcrawler says we’re fine, and damn girl, so are you.

I’m not affected by diminishing returns.

My lance works a lot better on targets of a higher level than me.

Well… I cast Invis when your boyfriend got home, so technically that was just a threesome.

Ignite ticks aren’t the only things I can munch.

Nice pants, what’s the drop rate?

So… wanna see what spell penetration really does?

Wait, why the crap do mages need pick up lines anyways? We can conjure pastry AT WILL! I mean, how can you not pick up random chicks with that?

Just walk into a bar, say “ATTENTION FEMALES! I CAN SUMMON PIE!” They’ll be all over you. Trust me.

Oh, fine, one more.

“I put on my robe and wizard hat…”

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It took less than a month to get the gear together to legitimately try a FB/TtW build. (Yes, I still refuse to capitalize that middle t.)

I’ve got 4pT8 now, and am only 1% shy of the hit cap, though it doesn’t seem to matter. A thousand casts of Scorch on a test dummy and no misses. I’ll be trying the farm content this way, see what happens.

I had heard a FB spec was random in it’s DPS, but man… there is nothing that can prepare you for DPS swings that huge. I’ll be poking along at 3k DPS, when lady luck smiles on me and suddenly I’ve dealt 100k damage in ten seconds.

Lemme put it this way. Spamming scorch and using HS procs as they come can grant me DPS anywhere from 2k to 3.5k.

It’s like that one D&D game where I one shot a dragon, then killed a party member accidentally, cut off my own foot, and impaled myself all in the same round. Admittedly the dragon one shot was a coup dentist (or whatever that french word is), but still, it ain’t easy beating 65AC as a level 6 monk.

D&D nights that cause the DM to weep aside, all this respeccing has instilled in me a deep sense of anger that my beloved arcane tree is being so rigorously ignored. (more…)

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Ask Jeeves

Not dead yet!

The amount of mail I get is inversely proportional to the amount I post. Lots of posts, very little mail. Few posts, and I get so many e-mails that getting through them all is a half hour ordeal every day. And that’s if I don’t respond to any of them.

It’s actually flattering the number of mages who seek me out and ask for my honest assistance. It’s a big step, exposing yourself to a stranger for criticism.

Well, a virtual self that has no relation to the real you, anyways.

Naturally, the primary question I get asked is “halp my dps is crap!”

I’m noticing that the vast majority of you (you here used to refer to those mages who seek out my infinite wisdom) seem to be making the same mistakes over and over again.

Allow me to try and address those mistakes here and now, in an effort to help your fellow mages from repeating these same errors. (more…)

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Mortal Strike

As I briefly mentioned last post, mages now have access to a miniature mortal strike, via the talent Permafrost, at a 7/13/20% reduction to healing, afflicting all targets suffering from on of your chill effects.

My initial reaction is as follows:


After that… I thought about it, and then said the following:


The first “why” being in legitimate confusion, the second being more of a philosophical conjecture.

The Mortal Strike debuff itself used to be a warrior only thing. Nearly completely by itself, it made Arms the PvP spec of choice. It gave warriors the ability to provide massive pressure against enemy healers, and as a result warriors became very prevalent in PvP.

With only a little bit of exaggeration, every successful 5v5 arena team had a warrior for one reason and one reason only, and that was the godly mortal strike debuff. (more…)

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Months Behind

When one is months behind, it means they’re doing something like clearing Black Temple four weeks after Wrath shipped, or finally clearing Naxxramas once most guilds have cleared out all the Ulduar hard mode content.

Such is the case with me, having just now started to raid Ulduar, on the very cusp of patch 3.2.

And it’s fun as hell.

A quick rundown of past events (for those of you who don’t stalk me):

Stay Frosty, as a guild, kinda fell apart over the course of about a day. No blow up, no massive drama, just about 90% of the raiders deciding it would be more fun to join Shai Hulud, Duskwood’s premiere raiding guild.

Those that didn’t /gquit for Shai either left for other guilds, or quit the game altogether. Nearly overnight, one of Duskwood’s top raiding guilds became a complete ghost town.

This means that every guild I have ever joined has collapsed within nine months of me signing on.

Not that I’m superstitious or anything, but seriously… what the carp is going on here.

But anyway, I’m now sporting the banner of For Whom The Bell Tolls, which is basically the people from Anathema, Anathema being the guild I raided with in BC.

Hopefully I don’t kill their guild somehow this time. Though two people have quit since I joined, which was last goddamn week…

Ulduar, then. (more…)

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