Archive for May, 2009

On Basic Nukes


Ok, ok, hold up… I’ve got this… this brilliant idea, see? Why don’t we… I mean, this is just a suggestion, but why don’t… well, see, I’ve got this ball of fire. Look at it. It’s all burney.

So what if I… what if I threw it? Like, at the bad guy? Throw it really hard? At his face!

And we could call it… get this, this is awesome… FIREBALL.

Get it? ‘Cause it’s a ball? Of fire?

Oh man, this is the best idea ever!


Our goal is to inflict damage, correct? We wish to inflict significant damage upon our foe, in the eventual hopes of outright ending their futile existence?

If such a scenario is correct, then I believe the simplest course of action is best.

I shall conjure what could be best described as a “hunk” of raw frost energy, and then hurl it.

Name? What does it need a name for? It’s a bolt of raw frost energy!

Fine, fine, call it “frostbolt” for all I care. (more…)

Read Full Post »

Five Facts About Mages

The most powerful weapon you have in WoW is knowledge. Knowledge of classes, of game mechanics, of enemy mobs, and how they all work together.

In an effort to fight ignorance, I present to you a list of things that all non-mages absolutely must know about us and how we work.

1. If you mark something with a Skull, we will kill it.

While this may not be hard-wired into the mind of every mage, for the vast majority of us veteran DPS players, we lose all control of our actions when we see something with skull.

We don’t have a choice in the matter. It’s like giving a man some explosives. No matter how restrained he normally is, he will find something to explode.

If you mark something with skull, our killing instincts will cause us to immediately swap targets, and we’ll be a full rotation into attacking skull (likely having blown half our cooldowns in the process), before we even realize we’ve done anything.

Whatever you’ve marked with skull will die a very swift and painful death. (more…)

Read Full Post »

Hi There, Remember Me?

Hey, there, loyal readers of my pointless ramblings! Welcome back to the blog I used to update frequently!

I’d like to say I was busy with this, or that, or dealing with University or something, but none of that’s true.

I’ve been playing tons of Rock Band 2, Sins of a Solar Empire, and TF2. With WoW occasionally sandwiched in between bouts of gaming my face off.

Which neatly brings me to my first rant of the night.

“Why do you spend so much time playing Rock Band/Guitar Hero? Why not go learn to play a real instrument?”

Allow me to answer your question with a questions of my own.

Why do you spend so much time playing GTA? Why not go buy a gun, steal a car, and go run over real people?

Why do you spend so much time playing Call of Duty? Why not go join a real army and shoot real people?

Why do you spend so much time stomping on turtles in Mario? Why not go stomp on real turtles and eat real mushrooms?

Why do you spend so much time raiding in WoW? Why don’t you go tame a real tiger and shoot arrows at real people wearing dresses?

Why do you spend so much time playing the Sims? Why don’t you just turn the computer off and actually cook meals/get a job/go swimming/flirt with your neighbour? (more…)

Read Full Post »

Generation Zombie

Culture is a wondrous thing. It evolves, spreads, infects, going nowhere and everywhere all at once leaving steaming piles of strange references and weird societal behaviour.

We could talk all day about how urnial etiquette is different from one nation to the next (eye contact, from what I understand, is universally banned), but I’m here mostly to talk about popular culture.

At it’s core, culture is something that is experienced by, if not all, the majority. You’d be very hard pressed to find an avid internet user has not seen a lolcat or been rick rolled in one fashion or another.

In North America, at least, culture is very heavily defined by our entertainment. (I expect this is the same anywhere you go in the world, even places that still rely entirely on oral stories.) Maybe it was radio, or TV, or whatever the latest popular flick was, but as long as two people were not complete shut ins, they always had something in common to talk about.

Star Wars, for instance. Harry Potter. Lord of the Rings. Star Trek, in all it’s forms. The Beatles, Elvis Presley.

They defined the culture of their time, whether they revolutionized it or represented it. (more…)

Read Full Post »

Swimming Upstream

Rational thinking would have us believe that “casuals” are ruining gaming. Companies like Nintendo and Popcap appeal to the lowest common denominator, spend next to nothing making these games, and make gigantic wads of cash from them.

Thus, making these smaller casual games is more profitable, and so more and more companies make them, abandoning the “better”, more “hardcore” games.

At least, that’s the impression so many have. It’s difficult to even count the number of times “casual games are killing the industry” has been thrown around.

It’s difficult to even fathom how horrifically wrong this idea is, either.

“Casual” games have been on the rise for many years. Some treat it as a passing fad, others herald it as the apocalypse… both are wrong.

Casual games did not suddenly appear out of nowhere. Their creation was carefully engineered to produce large quantities of profit for the companies that created them. (more…)

Read Full Post »

This has been knocking around my brain for a while, so I’ll spell it out here.

Mostly, I’m looking at the possible power of Incanter’s Absorption in a raiding environment, and how it interacts with that Frost Warding talent that’s sucked for so long… and, of course, how all that works together with constantly tossing up Frost Ward/Fire Ward.

We all know how these work. Whenever you absorb damage, Incanter’s Absorption boosts your spellpower by a percentage of whatever you absorb.

Frost Warding, then, gives you a chance to negate a given frost/fire spell (which does NOT count towards it’s absorption total), restoring the damage as mana. This is a 30% proc rate, so not something you can depend on every time, but can depend on enough to be proccing frequently.

So I had questions. So many questions.

Obviously, the synergy between these two talents won’t be available every fight. It’ll only work on fights where you can expect to take frost or fire damage.

(Unless you have a Discipline priest, I guess. Get on the good side of one of them, and those guys can basically feed you hundreds of spellpower in a high AoE environment.)

The first thing I needed to know was if the damage negation from the talent affected the total absorption. (more…)

Read Full Post »

Suspension of Disbelief

In an effort to practice reviewing stuff before reviewing “Arthas: Rise of the Lich King”, I review other stuff to practice my trolling critiquing.


Many, many people like to throw words around like “illogical” and “preposterous” when discussing movies. It’s used as a sort of catch-all phrase for “stupid”.

Essentially, saying something is illogical conveys two meanings. Either the movie was inept and failed to follow it’s own internal logic, or whatever happened in the movie could not possibly happen in the real world.

The latter meaning is utterly ridiculous. This is fiction. Expecting it to play by the rules of the real world is… dare I say it… preposterous and illogical.

There’s a little something called the willing suspension of disbelief. It’s us, the audience, willing to put up with and enjoy things that probably aren’t entirely realistic.

Sure, maybe in real life a man wouldn’t fare so well if he jumped out of a car going 80mph, but when Bruce Willis does it’s perfectly reasonable.

What we, the audience, have an issue with is when things fail to be internally consistent. (more…)

Read Full Post »

Liquid Cookie Cutters

I get a lot of questions like “should I get Imp. Scorch?” or “is Incanter’s Absorption worth it?” “or “where should I put point X and Y? Is it worth dropping Z?”

The answer is short, and may be disappointing to some of you:

I don’t know.

How can I know? I’m not you, I’m not in your shoes, I have no idea what your raiding environment is like. I can’t tell you, flat out, how to play. All I can offer is pointers and some rather basic rules.

Just for a fleeting moment in time, picture WoW as real life, and this as an advice column. I receive many questions such as “should I eat oranges or apples? Is there even a comparison?” but those questions I can’t satisfactorily answer.

I could say “eat apples!” but what if you’re allergic to them? What if apples are really expensive, or people with your hair colour are arrested and beaten for eating apples?

I can offer advice like “jumping off buildings will have a negative impact on your health”, or “it is unwise to lick predators larger than you”; you know, basic stuff. (more…)

Read Full Post »

I wondered. I really wondered.

The quality of horde in battlegrounds has deteriorated extremely fast. Horde went from utterly destroying alliance, every single damn battleground, to unable to kill Balinda overnight.

I thought maybe it was patch 3.1. Maybe all the good hordies are off raiding Ulduar. After all, Horde did suffer a general dip in PvP competence with all the rerolls thanks to blood elves and death knights.

Especially blood elf death knights. For every decent BEDK (pronounced “bee dick”), there about fifty thousand absolutely horrendous ones. They’ve been stinking up my battlegrounds with their idiotic strategies and general ineptitude, but I put up with it.

You can’t really expect everyone on Horde to act like… well, Horde; not these days.

But still. Even with all the elves, even with all the douche knights, there was still eptitude. (Shut up, eptitude is a word if ineptitude is. Screw you, english.)

There were still warriors who would go out of their way to save a priest. There were still shaman who would drop a Grounding Totem not to save themselves, but the guy next to them.

Sure, there would still be about twenty peeps in AV that would mindlessly zerg, but there were still plenty prescient enough to defend stuff and grab mines, even if all that defense was only to backcap towers and graveyards. (more…)

Read Full Post »

Friday Night Shenanigans!

Normal people do things like go outside and… whatever it is people do outside on Friday’s.

Honestly, I don’t know. Throw paper airplanes around? Poke lumps on the ground with sticks? I haven’t been outside since January, so I really have no idea.

Meanwhile, I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to do stuff in WoW.

Did some more arenas… and it was unsettling.

Yesterday, we basically won every arena match, with one exception (that should have been a win, but apparently Warlocks are more than capable of winning a 2v1 battle.)

Today… we didn’t win at all. Loss after loss after loss after loss. At first it was like “no worries, we’ll do better next match”.

Then it was like “man, how did we lose to dual ret pally?”

And finally, it was all “I wonder how long we can consistently lose…”

So my poor, poor partner is getting tired. It’s really late for him, and he says “Whelp, better luck tomorrow” and I say “No! You are not allowed to log off until we win one!”

This was not out of any sense of being victorious, merely morbid curiosity to see how long we can chain-lose matches. (more…)

Read Full Post »