So Horns and his friends with unpronounceable names over at Yet Another Warlock Nerf are having themselves a little contest. A contest which, conveniently, involves them giving away stuff for free*.
Now, as Horns bribed asked me to throw them a shout-out, and as a firm believer in free things (especially food), I feel it is my duty to inform the faceless masses. It would be incredibly selfish to keep the free stuff to myself.
Ok maybe not entirely free. You would need to do a bunch of typing about a relevant topic. Which isn’t exactly free, but you aren’t paying for anything! It could also inspire that wannabe blogger inside you. Or at least make him/her/it happy.
You don’t want your inner blogger ripping and tearing it’s way out of your nasal cavities, do you?
No, Calvin, I did not ask you. Sit down. And not on the unicycle this time.
*The Small Print
Freeness not guaranteed. Effort may be required. Entrants must speak English, be able to communicate with proper grammar, be able to spell correctly, free of rampant plagiarism, possess an e-mail, and be able to provide a shiny picture. Picture does not need to be relevant to anything. Please refrain from taking pictures of yourself naked.
Well, I mean, specifically refrain from using naked pictures of yourself for the purposes of posting it on the internet for this contest. Feel free to take naked pictures of yourself any time you want to. It’s not against the law or anything.
Note: please refer to your local laws before making this assumption. I made a similar error when I attempted to engage Japanese royalty in conversation with a puppet of a midget on my left arm.
Though I’d still recommend against posting these naked pictures of yourself on the internet. This isn’t necessarily illegal, but probably a bad idea. (Again, make sure you check your local laws. Do not do what I did, and end up in a jail somewhere with nothing but a novelty pencil to clothe yourself.)
If you really must post pictures of yourself naked on the internet, feel free to send me a link. Or just e-mail them directly to me. I promise I won’t laugh. Unless you tell a joke at the same time. Or hold up a piece of paper with a joke on it in the picture. Or scribble a joke on your naked body somewhere.
Or record a video of you telling a joke while naked. That would actually be awesome.
Please send all videos of naked joke telling to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Oh yeah, did I mentioned you needed to write something 450 words long? Not hard, this post itself is already 468 words long, and all I did was ramble about naked people.