Sometimes you get trapped in a run that turns out to be horrifyingly bad. You tell your friends, and you all have a good laugh about it later.
Ever get trapped in an instance run that’s so bad, it’s hilarious, even while you’re wiping?
Good friend of mine says “looking for DPS and heals for 10man Naxx!” I respond, of course. I haven’t had a chance to wipe endlessly in Naxx this week, so I went for it.
So here’s our group. Me, the token arcane mage. My two awesome buddies, one a feral druid (Sequelhoof) and the other a healy shaman (Oskmo). Both of them are ridiculously competent, have a bajillion alts, and both have a mage alt that outgears me. /sad
Death Knight tank,unfamiliar with the fights, but a fast learner and very good at picking up adds quickly.
Two healy paladins, both well geared and alert.
Two fury warriors, also both well geared and alert.
A DPS DK, reasonable gear, also unfamiliar with the fights. Nearly completely screwed us on Faerlina, but more on that later.
And then the other mage…
I’m gonna say it. Pretty bad gear. A random collection of quest blues and greens. Hat doesn’t even have a metagem slot. Only one epic (the Wintergrasp PvP boots). Sporting BC gems.
FULL frost. I mean FULL. 71 points. Took every talent in the tree.
Except Brain Freeze, obviously. Because seriously, Fireball is useless to a frost mage! Right?
Oh yeah, and he uses Mage Armor, too. Apparently he has mana issues.
And yet, the guy’s good at what he does. Uses his cooldowns early and intelligently, follows directions very well, responds to things like Rain of Fire and Maexxna’s web thingy lightning fast. Even managed to pull 2k DPS on Anub’rekhan, despite lacklustre gear and a meager 110 hit rating.
So what went so horribly, horribly wrong?
Why, the Blizzard background downloader, of course!
At least, I assume so. I guess it could’ve been something else. I mean, I’m only guessing, as nearly everyone in the run was experiencing random lag spikes and even outright disconnects. (Trade chat confirmed, literally hundreds of other players experiencing the same.)
Anub’rekhan dies on the second try. Mr. DK tank sort of screws up the first Locust Swarm, and everybody does a faceplant. DK and Sequelhoof switch places (DK on adds, Sequel on boss), boss goes down easy. No issues.
We head to Faerlina. We talk about strategy beforehand, put up a kill order on the ads, make sure everyone knows not to kill a target until told to. DK tank on the 4 dudes, Sequel on the boss.
Boss pulled, DK grabs all four adds without a hitch, and DPS goes hard on Faerlina. A short time later…
There are two adds left. Wait what? Another one drops… then so does the fourth.
It was then the rest of us came to the horrible realization that Mr. DPS DK had gone all out on the adds, wiping them out as quickly as possible.
Faerlina was still at 80% HP when the fourth add hit the dirt.
Well guess what.
We one shot Faerlina anyway.
The DK tank and Sequel basically traded aggro as well as they could to absorb as much damage as possible. I’m guessing the raid blew every cooldown we had several times over.
The Paladin healers were screaming “OH GOD OH GOD OH HOLY CHRIST” over and over again as they desperately kept our two tanks alive through multiple enrages.
Shortly after that, our little group effortlessly brought down three trash pulls at the same time. Morale was high. There was nothing we couldn’t beat into the ground.
Until lag slapped us silly.
One of the fury warriors was randomly hitting large lag spikes. Then I was. Then most everyone else.
Our first attempt at Maexxna was good. Nearly perfect. Then the DK tank (Sequel was kitty form and on web duty) died with Maexxna at 60k health.
The two fury warriors did the same almost immediately afterward. Sequel was caught in kitty form and also died. The rest of us were freaking out and trying to deal as much damage as we could.
No luck. 10k HP wipe. Out of two and half million hitpoints, we couldn’t get it together for the last ten thousand.
It only got worse from there.
Disconnect here, disconnect there. Massive lag there, healer lag during a Web Spray so the tank died. I missed 40 seconds of our second attempt due to a disconnect.
One attempt, one of the fury warriors spent the whole fight near the door autorunning on the spot.
That same attempt, so many were lagging so bad that one of the paladin healers had to go rescue the other paladin healer from a Web Wrap.
To give perspective, I spent every Maexxna attempt with 2k MS, occasionally spiking all the way up to 7k at times. The Web Wrap effect never spawned graphically, and was only targetable by tab targeting. Which, of course, was really hard to do because of all those damn spiders running around that also didn’t show up graphically.
I’ll be honest here. I don’t think I’m ever going to complete Naxx. The only successful run I’ve ever been on was to help some old friends finish off the Abomination wing so they could do Sapphiron and Kel’Thuzad on the following Saturday.
I was even invited! Except my internet died that Friday and didn’t come up until Monday.
I’m friggin’ cursed, guys.
In other news, Imp. Scorch and Winter’s Chill finally got their undeserved nerf to 5% and Mirror Images no longer cast Polymorph!
I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome that last change is.