Archive for December 24th, 2008

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Some say season’s greetings (whatever the hell that means), some say Happy Hanu… Hanook… it sounds like “Hah! New car!” said with an accent.

But you know what?

‘Round here, it’s Christmas. And I am going to wish you a Merry Christmas. You can take your season’s greeting and shove it.

Give your mom a call (assuming you don’t live at home and she isn’t… well, you know, dead). She’ll cry if she doesn’t hear from you. If you have a webcam, even better! Just make sure you remember to put on pants.

I know, I know, it’s hard to remember. Do it for mom. She’s seen you without pants too many times already.

If you call collect, I know a guy named “Brick” who’s quite skilled with a machete. He needs to have a word with you. (more…)

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