In honour of over 300 posts on this here blog, and in lieu of a good “SPARTAAAAA” joke, I present to you Infinite Trolls, Redux.
Euripedes had been here before. He recognized the sand, the strange dragons in the air, and the odd feeling that he almost knew what was going on, but not quire.
Placing the not so heavy device on the sand, again, he prepared to meet himself. Again.
Past Euripedes appeared, and said, “Dude, I got a haircut.”
Future Euripedes, somewhat annoyed, replied “Hey know. That’s not what you’re supposed to say.”
“Bah! We’ve messed up the timelines something fierce, what harm could there be?”
Future Euripedes sighed. “You know the rules, and so do I.”
With a smile, Past Euripedes chimed in, “A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of.”
“You wouldn’t get this from any other guy!”
The two Euripedes, busting a funky move, sang out.
“I just want to tell you how I’m feeling, gotta make you, understand!”
Just in time for the chorus, members of the Infinite Dragonflight arrived, and in a pleasant tenor, rang out:
“Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you!
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie, and hurt you!”
Nozdormu appeared. Though rusty, his powerful baritone is unmatched.
“We’ve known each other for so long,
Your heart’s been aching but you’re too shy to say it,
Inside we both know what’s been going on,
We know the game and we’re gonna play it”
Alexstrasza, with seven hundred of the Red Dragonflight’s finest at her back, swooped into the small valley, and added her voice to the medley:
“Good LORD you people, shut the hell up! You realize you’re all in general chat? What the hell is wrong with you?! Chromie went back in time with a crossbow and enough ammo to wipe out the Burning Legion, and Korialstrasz hurled himself from the temple with the words “Never again”.
Does this LOOK like the Barrens? Does it? You see any Chuck Norris jokes? You see Mankrik’s Wife anywhere? Huh? No, of course you don’t.
BECAUSE THIS ISN’T THE BARRENS.”
She glared at the former singers. Nozdormu looked embarrassed. The infinite dragonflight was quite sheepish.
Future Euripedes, never one to back down from a suicidal tendency, spoke up. “That’s not how the song goes!”
Alexstrasza bellowed “BY FIRE BE PURGED!”
Past Euripedes gazed at his flaming corpse. The assembled dragons shuffled uncomfortably, few of them had ever seen the Dragonqueen focus all of her considerable powers on annihilating one tiny individual.
Alexstrasza flew off in a huff, her legion following her. The infinite dragonflight, pleased that they didn’t need to wait on a respawn timer for once.
Past Euripedes looked down at the body of himself, idly wondering why Alexstrasza merely cooked him. Ah, well. Life hands you charred lemons, you make charred lemonade.
“I’ve always wanted to know what I taste like” he said, snapping a piece of himself off… himself. Munching, he noticed many similarities to bacon, though with less fat.
Chromie appeared, armed with a loaded crossbow and a half empty quiver. She walked over to Past Euripedes, and said, “Never gonna give you up.”
Past Euripedes frowned at her. “That’s… nice.”
Chromie allowed herself a congratulatory smile. Let’s just see the Infinite mess with this one.