It be the 18th of the wily month of September, ‘n’ Talk Like a Pirate Day be jus’ ’round th’corner. An’ ifn’a ya please, it be a goodly idea to cel’brate this fine holiday. After all, if ya don’ let ‘t’cher inner pirate every now ‘n’ then, yer inner pirate’s gonna end up a pillagin’ yer insides.
And that’s a right shameful ol’ mess.
So get that pillagin’ on the outside, ‘n’ go steal some loot!
To celebrate yer inner pirate, here’s a wee quest o; lists that tells ya some… erm, list o’ quests that pirate… tings… ‘n’ ye can do them ev’ryday!
Fires Over Skettis – what could be more piratey than flyin’ ’round and throwing explosives with the sole intention of killing unborn babies? Yarrr, maybe it should be named “Talk like a Mongolian Horde Day”
Note to thee adventuring pirate: whatever ya do, don’t rescue the bozo what go captured. Pirates don’ rescue nobody nowhere nohw, unless they have fine, fine booty.
Bomb Them Again – more bombing! A harr harr! This time, ye be blowin’ up they explosives with more explosives! Kaboom! Much fun for the explodey lovin’ pirate.
Note to the nasty pirates: if’n ya see any peeps what be tryin’ to tame a Nether Ray, help ’em out! Help ’em out so much that th’Ray ends up a corpse! Hah!
There be orcs and dragons here abouts, an’ they be lovin’ the piratey way of questin’.
A Slow Death – poisoning peons!
Netherwing Crystals – killin’ stuff to get stuff!
The Not-So-Friendly Skies – attackin’ transports ta steal they loots!
The Booterang – hittin’ peons wit a big stick!
Whats not ta love?
All of dese be about as piratey as ye can get. Take a gander at Wind Pirate Zhareem here, and have a looksie at all th’quests he gots. He may call ‘imself “trader”, but he’s as pirate as they come.
Ya steal a riding crop fer a dragon mount (from Illidan’s herald, no less), steal a book from a naga warlord, yoink a ring from prince Kael’thas, ‘n’ permanently borrow a primitive time keeping device from a time travelling dragon.
Now, bein’ a pirate is all shipshape, but bein’ a time travelin’ pirate… that be sometin else.
Shattered Sun Offensive
For all they hoity toity speeches ‘n’ moral high ground, th’SSO ain’t above some good ol’ piratin’. S’long as they don’ do it themselves, they’s fine wit it. They pay yous to do it. I guess that’d be privateerin’ then? Pweh, whatever ya wants ta call it, there’s still loot to be had.
Sunfury Attack Plans – this be a noble quest, requiring you to go smash up some blood elf encampments for a piece o’ paper. I don’ know is important or someting. Feel free to do whatever ya wish ta get thee paper: torture, questioning, or just kill ’em ‘n’ ask the guy next to ‘im.
Might ‘ave to kill ’em though, blood elves aren’t too good about cracking under pressure. Unless ya give ’em crack, if’n ye catch me drift.
Maintaining the Sunwell Portal – This’n be a good way ta brush up on yer pirate skills if’n ye be lackin’. Steal a thingy from the glowing mummy people, use it to go invisible (kinda), and then steal the glowy cubes.
The Air Strikes Must Continue – Fly around and throw bombs at things! A harr harr!
Keeping the Enemy at Bay – classic piratin’ stuff. Set some ships on fire with some burnin’ oil (hah! Try and put that out with water!) and then land on one o’thee burnin’ ships (no really) and kill some elves. Then flee before the ship sinks! Yarrr!
Disrupt the Greengill Coast – much as I hate Murlocs (and me timbers be shivered at the vey thought of freeing them), Cap’n Valindria never specified the wee beasties needed ta survive… just be free when they died. N’thee Murlocs go lunk nuts when ya free ’em anywho, so’s you don’t even need ta lift a finger ta watch thee mayhem.
RUM! ALE! MORE RUM! AND ESPECIALLY RUM!
Brewfest is startin’ up real soons now, be sure to go get yerself wasted for hours on end!