Archive for September, 2008



5:05 AM – Leveling on hunter alt. Receive whisper from a shaman wondering if I would like to do SH. SH here is assumed to mean Sethekk Halls. Party is shaman, rogue, warrior, warlock, and now me, on a hunter

5:07 – Receive summons from the Circle of Unimportance. Shaman says “ok I’ll heal we have no healers we should die” Feeling of doom settles in. Shaman is enhancement spec.

5:09 – Zone in. Do first pull. Alarm expressed that the tank is nicknamed “Dur”.

5:10 – Second pull complete. No need yet for traps, the rogue wants to Sap.

5:11 – Shaman says “need mana, anyone have water?” Urge to swap to mage successfully resisted. Shaman hearths to buy water. I am #1 on DPS and damage chart.

5:12 – Dur says “sorry guys need to pick up miis at train. will take ten minutes, sorry” Confusion. Who is miis? What is train? Why does he mention this 2 minutes into the instance?

5:13 – Exit instance. Rogue and shaman duel each other. Rogue wins.

5:17 – Shaman and I duel. I win. Twice.

5:22 – Shaman says “let me duel just pet”. Duel commences. Send pet in, shaman rushes me and beats me down. Then cheers when he wins. Good job, Mr. “Just pet” shaman.

5:24 – Shaman legitimately duels the kitty alone. Kitty loses, shaman at 50% health. Shaman runs at me, hits Earth shock. Freezing Trap down. Aimed Shot + Arcane Shot, defeated shammy.

5:28 – Just me versus shaman. No kitty. I win.

5:32 – Warrior tank “Dur” is now offline. This may be the shortest “Live!” blog post ever.

5:34 – Shaman is now spamming party¬† chat with ascii art that creates the phrase “L F” and then a crude picture of a tank.

5:36 – Shaman and rogue duel. It is here I finally noticed the rogue doesn’t do something I thought all rogues do – press the space bar. Haven’t seen a single hop.

5:38 – Rogue and warlock have gone to do the Torgos quest. Shaman is running around in circles. Pressing the space bar.

5:41 – I hear the whispers of insanity. Party chat is full of dead baby jokes. The warlock pastes in a baby lasagna recipe. Ahh, the whispers are just part of the ambiance in here. Really creepy sound files. Thanks blizz, these ghost noises go great with my dead baby lasagna.

5:43 – The warlocks Voidwalker is named Kraphog. HOW AWESOME IS THAT.

5:45 – [SERVER] Shutdown in 15:00


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Plot and Ice Cream

I’ve heard quite a few people express their opinion that Outland, and the entirety of the Burning Crusade, felt detached from the Warcraft story.

I can understand it feeling detached from the player, as the overreaching story involving Illidan seems to go out of it’s way to avoid having anything to do with the player.

But the story itself? (more…)

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Hi there, my name is Euripedes, and today I will be showing you how to be a successful troll on the mage forums. Without further adieu, let’s get started!

Be 70

Contrary to popular belief, you actually do need to post on a level 70 character to be a successful troll. While many feel that one should post on an alt, say, a level 2 Warlock named “Skillcoil”, this is actually counterproductive.

As a troll, you want people to listen to you, and then argue with you. If the little avatar to the left of your post is anything besides a level 70, you will be completely ignored on principal.

By posting on a level 70, you guarantee that other forum goers will read what you say.

If, for instance, you post a guide to mage forum trolling on an alt, you will be ignored, and recieve responses such as “Post on your main”.

But, if you post a guide to mage forum trolling on an actual level 70 mage, you open up a whole new field of responses: ascii art of Ollie, QFT’s, stupid arguments, and even other people on their alts trolling you! (more…)

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Ignite: the New Blink!

Ignite shares a very unfortunate property with blink: it doesn’t work properly, and, in fact, never has.

“Whats wrong with Blink?” you ask? I take it, then, you’ve never tried using blink while standing on very odd terrain? Things like doodads, ramps, and slight breezes tend to mess with blink something fierce. It was even the source of a hysterical complaint from a hunter claiming that blink needs to actually move the mage forwards 20 yards, as a mage blinking backwards cost him a duel.


So ignite then, has also been broken from day 1, and has never been fixed.


Before we go any further, allow me to explain that the issue is not with either of these in themselves, but rather the constraints the game places on them. Blink, as a spell, is fine, but the terrain blink is trying to use is not. Hence, when trying to calculate really complicated pieces of terrain (uh oh, there’s a blade of grass ahead!) it does wonky things, such as nothing.

Ignite? I’ll get to that. (more…)

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M&M: Us Versus Us?

Ahh, mages. Arguably the squishiest class in the game, and yet capable of terrifying power, solid crowd control, and the most powerful burst capability of any class in the arenas.

Enter maniacal laughter here.

Enter maniacal laughter here.


— Almost all arena mages are specced deep frost (either a 17/044 or 0/0/61 build) due to that specs superior survivability and control to the other specs. This appears to be changing, but for now, frost is still the go-to tree for arena mages.

— Similar to hunters, a mage left without pressure can deal a massive amount of damage very, very quickly, to any class.

— Decent mana longevity, due to Evocate and mana gems.

— Has the longest spell school lockout ability in the game, which just so happens to be off the GCD, instant cast, and ranged. Counterspell is devastating.

— Very strong crowd control, via polymorph and multiple snares/roots. Even a few seconds of successful mage CC can completely turn the tide of a battle.

— Invisibility, as much controversy has surrounded it, is still a very effective tool.

— One of only two classes that can render themselves completely immune to focus fire. (more…)

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Why Mages Be The Best Lovers

In response to Matticus, I weigh anchor on this issue of class based love. How can I not? There ain’t no class nowhere that matches the sheer lovin’ prowess of a mage.

Flexible Partnerships

Mages can commit to one lover, or two, or three, or a dozen, if need be. Snuggle up against yer femme mage, an’ suggest ye bring in somebody else… mebbe a shammy (totems), an’ she’ll be up fer it. Mages be just as strong wit AoE as they be wit one target.

Bigger and Better CoC

Mages be the only class in the game what can improve their CoC. A 45% improvement, ta be exact. Ladies and wenchies, trust me on this ‘un… there ain’t nothin’ that can match a fully specced CoC.

Magic Hands

Say what ye like about wiggly hand motions, we mages know how to use we hands. Whether ye wan’ it ta be hot, or cold, or jus’ damn fine, we got ya covered. Wanna bring a block of ice inta th’bedroom? We got it. Wanna have us focus our magics into the best damn massage ya ever had? We got it. Wanna experience the “breath” of a dragon itself, without all the pointy? We damn well got it.

If’n it pleases ye, a mage can even go Slow… (more…)

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Ahoy Thar!

It be the 18th of the wily month of September, ‘n’ Talk Like a Pirate Day be jus’ ’round¬† th’corner. An’ ifn’a ya please, it be a goodly idea to cel’brate this fine holiday. After all, if ya don’ let ‘t’cher inner pirate every now ‘n’ then, yer inner pirate’s gonna end up a pillagin’ yer insides.

And that’s a right shameful ol’ mess.

So get that pillagin’ on the outside, ‘n’ go steal some loot!

To celebrate yer inner pirate, here’s a wee quest o; lists that tells ya some… erm, list o’ quests that pirate… tings… ‘n’ ye can do them ev’ryday! (more…)

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Things to Make You Feel Old

With LK now (officially!) looming on the horizon, I’d like to take the time and take a look back… before patch 2.0, before Burning Crusade was even heard of…

I’m talking old school WoW. When frost wasn’t for PvP, it was for raiding Molten Core. When Alterac Valleys could last hours… even days. When AV lasting ten hours was par.

Soon, you’ll see people saying things like “man, remember back when Pyroblast had a 6 second cast time?” or “remember when rogues had to be behind a target to use Mutilate?”

And trust me, this will happen. You’ll be flying somewhere, and you’ll see someone in general describing how Totems used to only affect the one party, or mages used to have to spec for Ice Block… and everyone else will be like “Woah!” and “What… you serious? That can’t be right”.

And you’ll be sitting there, shaking your head, if only they knew…

Trolls! Remember when you could only activate Berserking after being critically struck? And how it lasted 30 seconds? Or when it increased damage you took?

Remember when Battlemasters didn’t exist? Or Meeting Stones? Or when there wasn’t a cap on the number of players you could bring into any given Dungeon? (more…)

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Chaotic Skyfire Diamond

I want you to try a little something for me.

Take a look at your hat. The thing on your head, whatever it is. Engineering goggles, part of your T5 set, perhaps the Brutal Gladiator helm.

Take a good long look at it.

See that meta-gem socket? Have a peek at that.

What’s in it? What is socketed there?

If you answered anything besides “Chaotic Skyfire Diamond” go stand over there.

CSD is also an acceptable answer.

Ok, now, IF you are standing in the corner, here is a 24 pound frozen catfish. Take this fish, and HIT YOURSELF AS HARD AS YOU CAN IN THE FACE.

Now, go sell that fish, and go buy the meta-gem you’re supposed to be using. (more…)

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M&M; Us Versus Them, Hunter Edition

Ahh, hunters. Terror of the battlegrounds, it’s impossible to count the number of mages that have been torn to pieces by hunters over the years. Ranged physical damage, a pet, a mana drain; a class practically begging to go head to head with a caster.


— The vast majority of arena hunters are specced Marksman. It has superior burst to the other two builds, two specialty shots that are invaluable in PvP (Silencing Shot and Scatter Shot) as well as much improved Stings.

— Left alone, hunters can deal terrifying damage, very quickly, to a cloth wearing class.

— They are much more vulnerable to close in fighting than other ranged classes. A hunter cannot use his strongest ranged attacks in melee range.

— Very susceptible to pillars, more so than any other class.

— Relatively shallow mana pools.

— Freezing Trap, the hunter’s lengthy CC ability, is one of the worst in the game for PvP.

— Pets are relatively easy to kill.

— Viper Sting is a deadly mana drain ability, especially since most Hunters are specced to improve it. (more…)

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