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Orphaned Posts

One of the dangers of being a “member” of such a large “community” of bloggers is that one runs the very real risk of posting content someone else already did.

In fact, over the course of this blog, no less than 45 (!) posts have never seen the light of feedreader due to near identical posts appearing elsewhere in the blogosphere, or other factors that render the post utterly retarded or irrelevant to the current situation.

For instance, I had a post all about the instance launch issues people have been having, and even offered a solution. Then BBB posted a post that was almost exactly like mine (except longer) and even offered the exact same solution for the exact same reason.

So my post got the axe. Swissssh thunk.

Two others got the axe this week so far, one was a fanfic about a Death Knight that was nearly exactly the same as a story already posted days ago, and the other was a short little ditty about an idea I had to improve arcane.

What was my idea?

Well, I’ll give you the jist of it. (more…)

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Birth of a Retribution Paladin

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I really should stop inflicting my little literary ramblings on you, but someone on my last fanfiction post demanded more. So here more is.

Once again, this story was inspired, but this time by a A Softer World comic and my own paladin alt.

Note: “prince “is used in a derogatory fashion, similar to how one might say “chief” or “bub”.

~=~

I always thought that violence never solves anything. And then one day it did, and the guilt I expected never came.

Mom had always taught me to be kind, to be nice. She even tried to get me to follow her path, as a holy priest of the Light. I was never much good at it; I’d always been a little rough around the edges.

Mom’s dead, of course, along with who knows how many other high elves Arthas killed in his quest to… I don’t know, something about a velcromancer and some demon named Arkimound. I could never really concentrate in history class. It was always blah blah trolls blah blah burning legion.

I never really cared, you know? It was all in the past, didn’t matter. What mattered was friends, having fun, kicking it in the streets of Silvermoon. (more…)

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So we’ve now had a few days to kick it with 3.2, and hopefully all the weird ass bugs (Deconstructor? wtf?) have been fixed and we can all get on with enjoying the stable patch.

I’ve already gotten my Tier 8.5 chest piece, which basically took a single day to get. Hurray for loot? Oddly enough, that’s basically all I actually need from Conquest badges. Seriously!

The pants and gloves are basically garbage, the hat is an incredibly small upgrade, and even the neck piece is currently useless until I can make the hit up somewhere else.

I thought I’d need to be running heroics for days and days… but nope. I’m done. Any badge from here on out is either going to be used for Runed Orbs or for purchasing BtA gear.

Though it does feel immensely weird to be wearing all 5 pieces of my tier 8. I’ve tried, I really have, to get a replacement for something! But all the pants/gloves/shoulders that I either have, or have seen drop, are merely equal in strength to my tier loot… except for one little flaw.

My tier loot has gem sockets, and none of the other gear does.

So I keep wearing my tier gear, and likely will continue to do so until I can get my greedy mitts on something from Coliseum. (more…)

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There Be Fanfiction Ahead

This quick little story was inspired by a piece of fanart on the Blizzard site, and by the fact that I think Mr. Lich King is far more dangerous and devious than any of us give him credit for.

—===—

The orc was fast. He struck swiftly, with a crashing blow that should have cleaved all but the toughest of hides asunder.

Instead, the orc missed.

The Lich King was faster. Frostmourne ripped through Saurfang the younger as if through air.

He fell. The Lich King hadn’t even moved.

Bolvar was steadfast. He had always been steadfast, the very epitome of what a guardian of the Light should be.

His voice rang out into the dead silence.

“You will pay for the lives you’ve stolen, traitor!”

“Traitor?” The Lich King seemed surprised at the accusation. “Can you not see what I have wrought? A kingdom that cannot die, for it is already dead. A kingdom that cannot be defeated, for it’s people are infinite.”

A massive gauntlet clad hand rose, and the body of what was once Saurfang the younger stood.

“Behold, the gift… of immortality.” The massive orc, born anew into the unlimited power that only undeath can grant, turned to face Bolvar.

Bolvar was ready. After months of preparation, of research, of training, with two equally geared armies at his back, there was nothing Arthas could do to surprise him.

Yet surprise him Arthas did nonetheless.

“He is yours to command, do with him as you will.”

Bolvar had been expecting a lot of things. The nightmarish onslaught of a Death Knight fueled by Arthas himself, perhaps an endless wave of ghouls, maybe a few dozen bone dragons.

But this? This didn’t make any sense.

The Lich King laughed. A laugh devoid of humor, possessing only mockery.

“Did you think you had caught me unawares? Did you think it was even possible to consider war on my very doorstep? Ridiculous. You! All of you!” Raising his sword, he gestured towards the assembled armies. “You are all here because I wished it. Orgrimmar, Stormwind, the legions of undead that infested your families… nothing more than a summons. My summons.”

His gaze turned back to Bolvar.

“And you have answered.”

Righteous fury welled with Bolvar. “You monster! You abomi-”

The words died on his lips. The very air seemed to expire, utterly motionless. He couldn’t speak…

“This entire war you have deceived yourself into believing you are fighting, was nothing more than a means to an end. You are the means, Deathlord Fordragon, and this… this is the end.”

A horrible sense of wrongness filled Bolvar, a heavy, black weight crushing his heart. He knew the feeling. Death. Hundreds of souls cut short suddenly, without warning or reason.

He turned to face the army.

But it was no longer his.

The entire combined horde and alliance force, dead. All of them. Not a single soul left alive. Thousands of undead eyes gazed back at him.

Waiting.

Waiting for him

“They are yours to command, Deathlord.” Arthas gestured to him. “Accept your destiny, and behold the world at your feet.”

Light grant me strength.

Consumed in righteous fire, he delivered his answer in the most succinct way he could conceive.

The Lich King deflected his blow, seemingly effortlessly.

“Very well.” Arthas turned, leaving the paladin to be torn apart by his loyal soldiers.

He would have enjoyed killing the paladin himself, but Deathlord Saurfang needed at least a little practice.

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Scout Report has Updated!

Glee!

How long has it been? Months? Years?

Whatever, who cares, there’s a new one, hopefully just the start of a long string of new ones.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I maaaay have accidentally wet my pants just now, so I’ll need to go fix that.

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Now With 35% More CoC

For those of you who don’t frequent the public mage forums or haven’t heard of this awesome site, here’s a bunch of hilarious pick up lines you can put to great effect in the bars of Dalaran.

You must be hit capped, cause there’s no way I can resist you.

So I heard you had a thing for barnyard animals.

I hope you find crying and whining sexy, because I’m really good at it.

You know, my magical hat isn’t the only thing that’s pointed…

[Insert innuendo here referring to an epic wand.]

WAIT WAIT! I can keep going! My evocate cooldown’s nearly done!

Hey baby, I noticed you had me targeted from across the room, so I blinked over here to conjure you a drink.

Oh, you already have a boyfriend? That’s cool, I can spellsteal.

Well hey, I got my four piece, so I can go two or three times in a row! Sometimes even five times!

How ’bout I port you to my place? Don’t worry, this one’s on me.

Ghostcrawler says we’re fine, and damn girl, so are you.

I’m not affected by diminishing returns.

My lance works a lot better on targets of a higher level than me.

Well… I cast Invis when your boyfriend got home, so technically that was just a threesome.

Ignite ticks aren’t the only things I can munch.

Nice pants, what’s the drop rate?

So… wanna see what spell penetration really does?

Wait, why the crap do mages need pick up lines anyways? We can conjure pastry AT WILL! I mean, how can you not pick up random chicks with that?

Just walk into a bar, say “ATTENTION FEMALES! I CAN SUMMON PIE!” They’ll be all over you. Trust me.

Oh, fine, one more.

“I put on my robe and wizard hat…”

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Months Behind

When one is months behind, it means they’re doing something like clearing Black Temple four weeks after Wrath shipped, or finally clearing Naxxramas once most guilds have cleared out all the Ulduar hard mode content.

Such is the case with me, having just now started to raid Ulduar, on the very cusp of patch 3.2.

And it’s fun as hell.

A quick rundown of past events (for those of you who don’t stalk me):

Stay Frosty, as a guild, kinda fell apart over the course of about a day. No blow up, no massive drama, just about 90% of the raiders deciding it would be more fun to join Shai Hulud, Duskwood’s premiere raiding guild.

Those that didn’t /gquit for Shai either left for other guilds, or quit the game altogether. Nearly overnight, one of Duskwood’s top raiding guilds became a complete ghost town.

This means that every guild I have ever joined has collapsed within nine months of me signing on.

Not that I’m superstitious or anything, but seriously… what the carp is going on here.

But anyway, I’m now sporting the banner of For Whom The Bell Tolls, which is basically the people from Anathema, Anathema being the guild I raided with in BC.

Hopefully I don’t kill their guild somehow this time. Though two people have quit since I joined, which was last goddamn week…

Ulduar, then. (more…)

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