As I type this Friday evening, I still can’t feel my feet.
See, I’m a very cynical person. I wasn’t always. Once, I had an outlook on life that could be best described as “cheery”, likely heavily influenced by those Chicken Soup books that show you the horrors of life but reassure you the whole way that life is awesome and people really care.
Newsflash: absolutely nobody gives a shit about you.
To put my cynicism in a nutshell, here is my theory on life:
- Everyone is stupid.
- Everyone thinks they’re the only one who isn’t stupid.
- Everyone thinks everyone else is stupid.
Thursday, I’m heading home after school. I don’t drive, due in equal parts to the ridiculous cost and my own personal debilitating terror of driving. Instead, I relegate my transportation needs to those who are professional drivers, namely public transit.
Now, where I live, there’s a bus at every bus stop every half hour. I have to transfer buses partway home. The bus I transfer to is always already at the bus stop waiting for transfers from the bus I’m currently on.
Thursday evening, I pull the cord as usual, but the bus driver does not stop at the transfer point. Instead, he drives merrily by, stopping at the next stop. Naturally, I hurriedly ask the driver of my current bus to ask the other bus to stop. I kinda have to transfer to it, or I don’t go home. He does so, at least being moderately useful despite skipping my originally requested stop in the first place.
I get off the bus, and see the bus I need is now four blocks away. Stopped, however, waiting. So I start running in order to get to it.
I run for two city blocks, and then it pulls away and leaves.
That’s right. It waits for me to run full tilt for two blocks in minus ten degree weather, and then drives away.
So I wait half an hour in that very same minus ten degree weather for the next one.
Friday evening, a blizzard hits this town. Naturally the bus schedule is all messed up, due to massive traffic jams and horrible road conditions.
Anyway, because of this, I get on the first boss, and ask if my second bus is going to be there.
The second bus only runs at peak times, meaning 6am to 9am, then 3pm to 5:30pm. It services the industrial section of the town, hence the strict hours. Happily my schedule has, so far, coincided with that buses schedule so it works out alright.
To get home, I have to get from university to “downtown” (where most of the bus routes meet up every half hour) to transfer to the bus that takes me to the bus that takes me home. I leave the university quarter after four, and it takes 45 minutes to get downtown due to the weather.
Now it’s 5 o’clock. The bus I get on arrives at the transfer point in roughly 10-15 minutes, and the bus I transfer to typically leaves about 5:15, but it always waits for my bus to get there before leaving. This is important, because after 5pm, it’s the very last run of that route, and is thus the only way I can get home.
So I ask my driver if it’s still going to be there, if it is going to wait. He doesn’t know. I ask if he can call ahead and make it wait. He says he doesn’t know if it will, because of the weather, and everyone’s behind on their scheduling, and blah blah blah.
Great. So instead of actually fucking finding out, he just tries his best to ignore me.
Ride out there, sure enough there’s no bus.
I ask again. Is it gone? Is it coming? Where is it? Am I stranded out here? He gives me the exact same response he gave me in the first place. He doesn’t know. I ask if anyone on the bus has a cell phone they can loan me.
So I wait. And wait.
Remember the part where it’s a fucking blizzard outside? It’s only minus 8 degrees outside, but with severe wind.
I wait thirty minutes to no avail. No buses in sight. Another bus arrives from “downtown”, it isn’t the bus that takes me home, it’s the bus route that gets me out here in the first place. Different bus, different driver, same route. So I ask him if the bus that does take me home is finished or not.
He doesn’t know, but he immediately asks over the inter-bus intercomm thingermajig they have if there’s another one. You know, being helpful and all. Sadly, my bus is done. Gone. So I ask if anyone has a cellphone. The driver doesn’t have one (this is a lie, all bus drivers have cellphones in case of emergency, apparently me being stranded in the middle of fucking nowhere doesn’t count). I ask the passengers, and my plea is met with dead silence.
Major props to the asian lady talking on her cellhpone, the two young men texting on theirs. Nobody has a cellphone, apparently.
So I start looking for help. I have to wait anyway for a bus to take me back “downtown”. This is right on the outskirt of a major residential area before it transitions into an industrial area, so I figure someone will let me use their phone.
Well, let me tell you, I could never be a salesman, because getting doors slammed in your face gets really fucking old really fucking fast. Major props to the seven people I begged for help, who then decided to let me wander around in a fucking blizzard instead of loaning me a phone for thirty seconds.
Anyway, I catch another bus back “downtown” (once again my plea for a cellphone is met with dead silence) having spent a wopping 80 minutes either standing or walking around in this blizzard.
I walk into the first business that’s still open I find, and ask to use their phone. “Sorry, we don’t have a phone”. Uh huh, I can see it on the fucking wall behind you. “Oh, no, that phone only connects to our back office. We don’t have any outside lines here.” Sure, sure you fucking don’t.
Anyway, I eventually found a guy working at a coffee ship who let me use his cellphone.
I started going home at 4:15, it’s 6:30 before I find a person willing to help me.
Moral of the story is: this isn’t new or original. Am I mad? Yeah I’m mad, but what of it? A story like this is just par for the course.
Welcome to life, population you and a bunch of idiots who would rather watch you die then lift a finger to help you.
I’m posting this right away, because that’s what friends do, right? Friendships are just a support group for the horrible disease called “being alive”. I might take it down later once I regret posting this, but for now, welcome to my life.