Friday Night Shenanigans!

Normal people do things like go outside and… whatever it is people do outside on Friday’s.

Honestly, I don’t know. Throw paper airplanes around? Poke lumps on the ground with sticks? I haven’t been outside since January, so I really have no idea.

Meanwhile, I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to do stuff in WoW.

Did some more arenas… and it was unsettling.

Yesterday, we basically won every arena match, with one exception (that should have been a win, but apparently Warlocks are more than capable of winning a 2v1 battle.)

Today… we didn’t win at all. Loss after loss after loss after loss. At first it was like “no worries, we’ll do better next match”.

Then it was like “man, how did we lose to dual ret pally?”

And finally, it was all “I wonder how long we can consistently lose…”

So my poor, poor partner is getting tired. It’s really late for him, and he says “Whelp, better luck tomorrow” and I say “No! You are not allowed to log off until we win one!”

This was not out of any sense of being victorious, merely morbid curiosity to see how long we can chain-lose matches.

So our next match is in that damn Orgrimmar map. The one we basically suck at. We’ve been playing defensiley on this map, so we decided to try some offense.

Off we ride, and we’re up against shaman/druid. We aim to bring the shaman down… then swap to the druid… then back to the shaman… back to the druid… back to the shaman…

5 minutes in, the four of us had a rhythm going. We all basically ran around in a circle, with one guy healing himself, another guy attacking that guy, a third attacking the second guy, and a fourth guy trailing the third healing the second.

Around and around we went. The minutes dragged on. Drinks were drunk. By about the ten/twelve minute mark, both sides were seriously considering that suicide was the best option.

We eventually lost (having run OOM) at the 18 minute mark. To put it this way, the druid had dealt over 800k damage by the end. Each team dealt about a million damage at the other, and each team healed about a million damage.

I mean, really, I’ve been in hour long AV’s where we didn’t get numbers that high.

The shaman/druid team made level 1 alts on Duskwood, and we chatted for a good ten minutes.

Our conversation was mostly “holy shit you guys just didn’t die!”

“Likewise!”

“Another one of those, and my Flash of Light button would break!”

“Didja see my heals while silenced?”

“Yes -_-”

“Seriously, a 2 gold repair bill for a single arena is just ridiculous.”

Druid: “yo I pushed buttons.”

And then right after that I went and healed Naxx-25 on my Paladin. That conversation was awkward.

“Come to Naxx!” Alrighty, sure thing! “On your paladin!” Oh. Uhm. Hrm. “We don’t need godly heals, we just need some heals!”

Thaddius, Plague wing, Sapph and KT were all that was up.

I died almost immediately on Thadd owing entirely to being unable to distinguish between the raid leader saying “go clockwise” and the jokers saying “go left” “no, go right!” “Always go left when negative, and right when positive, right?” “Right.” “No, left!”

But! Thadd went down anyway, as my healing prowess was basically completely superfluous. We had a resto druid, a resto shaman and… something like four holy paladins, including me. Maybe it was five. I dunno. There was enough that I could run Fire Resist Aura on Sapphiron for kicks.

I was most proud that I didn’t die during Heigan. Maybe it just comes with the class, but I seem to die way less frequently as a plate wearer than a mage. (Editor: DURRR)

One wipe on Sapph, everything else was a one-shot. I was assigned to raid heal Sapph, which is… kinda amusing as a paladin. It’s like playing darts while blind in a room full of balloons.

KT was nearly a wipe. Ludicrously fun, even if the only thing I did during the entirety of phase one was cast Sacred Shield on random raid members and giggle.

The designated Giant Undead Beetle Thing tank died partway through, got battle-rezzed… and then died again later anyways. Another tank picked them up… and then he went down too. KT with 300k HP left, with him and three gigantic beetle things all beating on this one poor druid guy.

The call went out for “mad heals” and I finally got to push my Holy Light button! Yay!

Also this:

See? I’m perfectly capable of role-playing when the situation calls for it.