Can’t do that while stunned
Blink away, can’t run for long
Can’t do that while stunned
I’ve been nominated multiple times for the Scrap Yard award, or whatever it’s called. It’s the award where blah blah basically everyone’s already said what it is. The entire damn blogosphere’s been hit with it, like pudding that’s been stored in someone’s colon.
It wasn’t always chocolate flavoured, if you know what I mean.
Seriously though, if that stuff is “Rocky Road”, don’t eat it.
YES THAT’S HOW YOU SPELL FLAVOUR SHUT UP.
I nominate whoever else wants in on this meme thing. I have way too much time to actually figure out who’s been awarded and who hasn’t.
Ten things about the real me. I tend to avoid talking about my real life, because frankly, who honestly comes to this blog to hear about me? This is a WoW blog, and I sometimes try hard to keep it that way.
Food, water, portals
The innkeeper hero class
With a mana bar
But anyway. A small list wouldn’t hurt.
- I’m a geek. I don’t wear glasses all the time, though I do have myopia (near-sightedness). Though I have no interest in Star Trek (Star Wars ftw!) and barely read any fantasy, it’s science fiction that I read near obsessively. Ender’s Game, 1984, Jurassic Park, Dune, Flowers for Algernon… Twelve Monkeys is probably the best movie ever made… you get the point. Though I do despise anything written by Alduous Huxley.
- I once dislocated my elbow, and it took seven hours to get to the nearest hospital to get it put back together again. I was high for two days afterward.
- I find nearly everything hilarious. It isn’t possible to offend me, no matter what the topic, and it’s very hard to disturb me, thanks to the internet. Goatse didn’t even get a reaction out of me when I first saw it. Lemon Party caused me to chuckle. (Probably safest to not google either of those. Seriously.)
- I love cats. Absolutely adore them. I once ended a three year friendship on the sole reason that the other guy once threw a cat into a tree. Obviously, I despise dogs. Especially the small ones. And the large ones. And the medium ones.
- I’m extremely stupid when it comes to technology. My parents seem to think I’m some sort of “computer whizbang” simply because I spend so much time on it. Hardware confounds me, CSS causes me to deliberate suicide, and I couldn’t program my way out of an imaginary paper bag in any language.
- I despise children. Absolutely loathe. I find small yappy dogs with non-existent bladders and chronic diarrhea pleasant company compared to anyone under the age of about 13. I quake with rage when a baby cries in earshot. Yes, I am aware this apparently makes me a horrible person.
- I have an extremely cynical outlook on the world. I firmly believe the vast majority of people, if not all, are selfish pricks to nearly everyone around them (even myself). I expect no less, and happily am never disappointed or insulted whenever people act the exact way I expect them to. In all likelihood, I’m going to become a crazy hermit in the next thirty years.
- I don’t have a cellphone and I never will. I own two pieces of mobile technology: my laptop and a small (2GB), ancient mp3 player. I don’t see the point; it’s just a bunch of unnecessary technology packaged together into something that costs more than my computer and can do far, far less.
- I am extremely cheap. The primary reason I don’t smoke? Damn things cost over ten bucks a carton. Ridiculous. I could pay for a month of WoW with that. Alcohol is even worse. Though I will happily chug my friends’ booze. This is also a big factor in why I don’t drive. Costs a ridiculous amount of cash. Needless to say, I never gamble either.
- High School grad was basically meaningless to me. My parents had to drag me out of bed to even go to the opening ceremony thing where everyone has those stupid hats on and stuff. I kept myself from falling asleep by imagining just how badly all the other students would fail their goals. “I’m going to be a doctor!” Yeah, no, it’s a gas station for you, Mr. failed biology twice. I didn’t go to prom or any of that other stupid crap. I went to work instead.
What were my after-high-school goals? Sit around at home and play video games in my undies. NOT kidding. That was read aloud in front of the entire graduating class. I’m one of the very tiny handful who’s actually accomplished precisely what I set out to do.
Depressing? Feh, whatever. I’m having a good time.
Trash pull, Blizzard spam
Yellow numbers above all
I make warlocks cry
The other meme thing I’m getting out of the way here is that WoW Ku thing Fimmy came up with. Arguably I just came up with the worst possible nickname ever, so in return here’s some terrible poetry.
Turtle, Penguin, Sheep
Barnyard full of Polymorph
This little piggy…
I tag everyone on the blog roll. Come on mages, let’s prove that Arcane Intellect isn’t compensating for anything.
Ice Block saves me now
The priest dies instead, the tank…
is offline. OH SHI-
Wow, I have never met someone with so much in common with me! Cats – check. Hate kids – check. Hopeless with computers and coding and all that mumbo jumbo – check. Cynical – yep. Now, if you didn’t play a mage… I’d almost say you were the alter-me!
… that and you don’t like Aldous Huxley. What’s with that?
I liked the poem. Really.
And babies *are* annoying, at least until they hit 3-4 years. But, sorry to say, they get annoying again in the teens, so you might want to reconsider that 13…
I have a list of responses, in no particular order and with no particular animosity or gratuity:
1) I didn’t want to go to my High School graduation either. Three hours of sitting down and watching all the people with higher GPAs and lower IQs than myself prancing on stage was tons of fun.
2) I fail to see the correlation between loving cats and hating dogs.
3) Your computer cost less than $100? o.O Because that’s the average price of a cellphone that isn’t some retarded iPhone.
4) Everything IS hilarious.
Twelve Monkeys. /facepalm
Don’t tell me you liked David Lynch’s Dune too?
The thing about lemon party is that you can make a really funny caption, and imagine them saying each word of the caption with witty british accents, and find them absolutely chaaaaaarming.
“What were my after-high-school goals? Sit around at home and play video games in my undies. NOT kidding. That was read aloud in front of the entire graduating class. I’m one of the very tiny handful who’s actually accomplished precisely what I set out to do.”
That made me laugh.
@ Saresa
Alduous Huxley’s work, I’m sure, must be appreciated somewhere. Just not by me.
Formulaic plot lines combined with graphic details that add nothing but pointless sensationalism to already shallow and derivative characters just isn’t my style.
Compare, say, Brave New World and 1984. BNW is the result of removing everything that was good about 1984 and then attempting to fill everything in with drugs and overwrought orgies.
@ Jen
In my admittedly limited experience, people above 13 at least have the intelligence to be insulted when I insult them.
My witty rebuttals are lost on the toddlers of today…
@ Button
Dogs and cats are like pirates and ninjas. The vast majority of people pick one or the other.
A friend of mine is buying a $950 cellphone. I blacked out when he told me that…
It’s not just the initial purchase, either. The monthly cost associated with keeping a cellphone running are ludicrous at best.
@ Merlot
Twelve Monkeys was AWESOME. It’s very rare I get to see a movie that treats time travel properly, preferring mathematical logic to novelty.
It’s one of those movies where the plot is controlled by the physics of the world, and not the other way around. Glorious.
Dune… not so much. Enough there to merit watching it, but it’s like Eagle Eye… you just end up laughing at it.
I love the haikus.
I also graduated with no ambitions whatsoever. I went to college because my parents were paying and it seemed easier than fighting with them.
Flash forward a couple eight years and I’m on my way to law school. It’s a really weird world.
I think you should have titled it Killing one bird with 2 memes… or maybe Killing One Post with 2 Memes…
Lol..
Nice wow-ku’s btw..
You sir, are never getting married are you?
A-ha! I have one up on Euripedes! I managed to skip my high school graduation outright!
Seriously … the charge for the silly caps and gowns? Completely not worth it.
I would leave some witty comment, but I can’t stop laughing long enough to come up with anything.
Your name isn’t Joe, is it? Because if it is, I’m scared. Intrigued, but scared.
And thank you for despising anything written by Aldous Huxley. Thank you, thank you.
about the after 13 thing; IM(not)HO, most of my fellow teenagers are cattle. Those few that aren’t have the privlige of my respect. I sound so arrogant.
@ altoholicsrus
Probably not
@ Tonks
My name is most certainly not Joe.
@ efithor
High School and so forth is filled with all these cliques, the “in” crowd, peer pressure, and all these other things that I don’t understand and never really experienced.
I loved Twelve Monkeys! Most people think I’m odd for that….
I skipped my high school graduation with my best friend to go buy an N64 with my graduation money and hit up a diner for some food. I didn’t like anyone in the graduating class anyway and I don’t regret a thing. Also did not attend prom, a single school dance or appear in a yearbook since 6th grade (once I realised it wasn’t fun to look back at old pictures of yourself making stupid faces). Thankfully I landed a marketing degree and a good job so I can look back at high school and el oh el.
Only one small point about “removing everything good from 1984″ – Brave New World was published in 1932, nearly 2 decades before 1984 (published 1949). Just a little difficult to claim it is “derivative” of that work.
But that’s not a reason to like it.
I love 12 monkeys, love cats, I don’t like kids much, play wow… The thing is, though, that since I’m a girl it’s apparently TEN TIMES WORSE!
So I’m not just considered a horrible person, I’m either:
A. a criminal
B. deranged
C. really a guy
*sigh*
@ Miles
Maybe BNW was new and exciting when it came out in the ’30s, but honestly I don’t care. I’m reading it now, and now it’s formulaic.
If two books have basically the same plot, except one came out 40 years after the other, all I really care about is which one is better. If the latter one is derivative of the first, but the first one sucks, then to hell with historical accuracy.
Say, for instance, the original Command and Conquer game. By today’s standards, it has terrible graphics, suffers from ludicrous balance issues and is buggy as hell. I can appreciate it from a historical perspective, but I damn well ain’t gonna sit down and play the thing.
@ Jules
Wimminz aren’t allowed to hate kids! You’re supposed to want five of them or something!
@ Fear.Win
Arguably, eating delicious food and playing games with your best friend(s) is far better than any activity the education system can come up with.
I went to a high school dance, once. I never went to another one. I had a “girlfriend” as well. I never in high school after that. Your “socially responsible” to take care of her and cater to her every whim… uh no thanks! I’d rather go to work than go to a movie with somebody I don’t really like. You shoulda seen her on Valentines day hehe.
If I had 5 kids I would have killed 5 kids. Seriously, can’t stand the little buggers. My friends will vouch that I am most likely deranged.
Skipped out on high school graduation (much to the annoyance of my family), but I had graduated early so I really saw no reason to return to the place I loathed.
But what were you doing to dislocate your elbow and then take 7 hours to get to a hospital?
Star Wars FTW for sure !
and Ender’s Game…havent thought about that book in a long time …. they should make it into a movie …. great book
pls loved the WoW Ku’s
!!