So there’s this restaurant that gives you a free bee- *ahem* alcoholic beverage if you purchase more than $30 worth of food. Or $40.
I don’t know. I can’t remember that well.
So I got some food, got some more food, got a free beverage, got to show off my shiny new driver’s license, and maybe bought some more of the stuff.
Driving is scary. Like holy crap, what the hell are people thinking when they get behind the wheel of a car? Intensely painful and speedy death is mere seconds away at all times. I know I was thinking “oh god oh god I’m going to die holy christ I’m going to die oh god oh god.”
And you know what? I have no shame in saying that. I’ve driven a lump of forged steel down a road constructed out of pain and the tears of tortured children. Meanwhile, other metal of contraptions roar past, their pilots screaming obscenities out the window at me and shaking various limbs.
This may be because I never once let the speedometer (pronounced “speedo meter”) go any higher than 25 kilometers an hour. I think an old lady passed me and called me “grandma”.
Screw it. I’m alive, my heart is beating and my digestive system is processing a pound of pizza. (more…)