Operation Hammerdown: Comments and Crap

In case you missed it, I published a post a few days ago about how to get to Dalaran. The title actually contained those exact words.

In my infinite wisdom, I bet a few mages might find it useful to know where to go for the Dalaran attunement quest. So I tossed it up, on the off chance a few magey readers would find it useful.

Completely neglecting, of course, the other thousands of people googling “how to get to dalaran”.

So I’m sure you can see where this goes. Lemme put it this way.

That silly little post on how to get to Dalaran, which I whipped up in all of ten minutes in the middle of the night, has broken every single record this blog has. That innocuous little post has received more traffic in a single day than this entire blog normally gets in an entire month.

That includes the massive deluge of traffic I got over patch 3.0.

Sure, I bet there are some people out there who said “awesome!” and rushed their little heiny over to Dalaran, so the post did what it was meant to do. However, it also attracted a whole bunch of completely unwanted attention.

So. There are going to be rules for the comments here now. There has to be, to give a base line of what is and is not acceptable on this blog. I’m a very lenient person, and would typically let a lot of stuff slide, but… the flood of spam, stupidity and inanity needs to come to an end.

You aren’t required to fill out any information when you leave a comment here. The only barrier to posting a comment here is the standardized Akismet spam blocker. The less effort people have to put into leaving their thoughts, the better. This is not going away.

That said, there are things that are not acceptable to leave as a comment, and henceforth, any violations of the following will be met with extreme force. The administrator sort of force, where your comment quietly disappears, never to be seen again.

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ADVERTISING – There are very, very few forms of advertising I will tolerate. Attempting to sell a product, no matter how relevant it may be, will not be tolerated. Any comment left with the sole purpose of pimping something else will be deleted. Whether you’re advertising viagra, in-game gold, even wowhead, it’s gone.

A comment like “Hey, check out wowhead.com, it has stuff and a rocket!” will be deleted.

If, say, a previous commenter stated he has trouble figuring out where to go for quests, posting “Check out wowhead.com, it has a ton of information that can help you” is perfectly acceptable.

ANY site or service that charges money from pay-for-gold sites to stuff like Joanna’s leveling guide will be deleted. Third party services that charge cash, no matter how useful they are, will never be advertised here.

If your comment has a link to your blog, that’s fine. If your comment is a link to your blog, it will be deleted.

FLAMING/TROLLING – It is perfectly acceptable to flame, troll, or otherwise violently disagree with me. Dissent is fine, criticism is fine. I do not censor myself, I will not censor the comments left here, no matter how rude or disparaging they are.

However. If you attempt to flame or troll another commenter, your comment will either be deleted or dragged out into public and flamed by me in its own, glorious post of hatred… and then deleted.

STUPID CRAP - Generally, anything stupid will simply be laughed at and left alone. Posting something strange and irrelevant like “hello” is fine. I don’t understand the purpose behind it, but whatever. Maybe you get a kick out of it.

Incomplete sentences, grammer not correctly, terible mispelings; all are acceptable here.

Something like “O licker ta yt5 %% GACK” will most likely be deleted, unless my post was along the lines of “KCAG %% 5ty at rekcil O”.

Of course, if it’s an advertisement for something hidden with a hyperlink or something… BALEETED.

DISCRETION – I will put up with a lot when it comes to cursing, swears, racial slurs and the like. I have never posted about topics like race, politics, religion, or any hot button issues, and I never will. This is not the place to put forth brilliant ideas on how all problems in the world can be solved by killing off %^%@^& and &*%!$@%, and while we’re at it, all those damn &*%%&%! R^@& *&@* too.

Such comments will be deleted.

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All that said. Akisment is a fairly aggressive little anti-spam program. If you’re comment gets nommed, send me an e-mail: criticalqq@gmail.com. I’ll hunt down that comment and restore it for you.

Second order of business.

I MAKE JOKES. Ok? I don’t flame people. I don’t troll people. I don’t get all superior, uppity, snarky, sarcastic, whatever.

It’s unfortunate that the nature of the internet allows for things like “asshattery” to not only be common, but be considered the norm. I’m sure many of you have read the famous “fuckwad” theory from Penny Arcade, or at least know the basic mathematical principle.

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Dickface. Or roughly that.

Because of this fundamental principle, it seems that we (as an overreaching community) have reached a point where we automatically assume that anything that could possibly be an flame, or troll, is. Without hesitation.

Basically, the internetz has created an environment where it’s weird for stuff like good natured joking to occur.

For those who bother to read the comments, you probably noticed an exchange between myself and Another (Some?) Warrior.

The original comment:

So … is this only for mages .. i reread the article and i still i’m not sure if this is for mages only

My reply:

Fairly sure that mages are the only ones who can teleport.

So. How many of you felt that my reply was sarcastic and superior? You can raise your hands, if you like.

How’s this?

Fairly sure that mages are the only ones who can teleport. XD

Does THAT look hostile, sarcastic and superior? Maybe I winky face instead. Or a classic smiley face.

Compare:

You’re such a stupid asshole.

You’re such a stupid asshole.

See the difference?

A silly little emoticon completely changes the context and tone of any  response to anything. The first certainly gives the impression of hostility, whereas the second doesn’t, by mere presence of a colon and a capital P.

To me, the little emoticon is the textual equivalent of “JUST KIDDING” or “No offence, but…” and I, for one, will not use it like that.

Emoticons fill in where text fails. In a normal conversation, we rely quite heavily on body language and facial expression to provide context to what it is we’re saying. Via text, that option is irrevocably closed to us. Enter the emoticon.

Without that precious little smiley face, there is no context to what the other guy is saying. So, the context, or body language, is simply filled in by whatever the brain is normally used to.

Sadly, for anyone who’s been on the internet for any significant period of time, this means what you read is automatically interpreted as hostile.

This ties in with investment, as well. If your best friend says “screw you”, you’d probably reply “screw you too” and then you’d both have a good laugh and go get ice cream or something. If a total stranger says it… the connotations are completely different.

Let’s use me as an example. Blogging for over a year now, I have devoted (insane) followers, far more traffic than I know what to do with, I’ve signed on with an excellent raiding guild, and I’ve got enough time invested on my WoW character to bring me to tears whenever I type /played.

What could I possibly stand to gain from being an asshole to random strangers?

What do I stand to lose?

Thousands of hours of invested time. The respect of my friends and peers. My reputation.

I could probably go on and on about this. I’ve probably bored you all to tears by now.

Suffice to say, I could flame people into the ground. I could insult, troll and outright attack basically every single blogger out there. When I get e-mails, asking for mage related assistance, I could reply “What are you, four? Can’t you read? Does it say Fireball anywhere in there? No, of course it doesn’t you forking retard”.

Do I?

No, of course not. That’s stuff an asshat would do.

I tell jokes. I make with hahas and the giggle snorts and the brain bleaching (love that phrase, by the way).

I’m not an asshole, and it pains me to be considered one.

JUST KIDDING XD LOLZ.