Comprehensive Guide to Successfully Trolling Mage Forums

Hi there, my name is Euripedes, and today I will be showing you how to be a successful troll on the mage forums. Without further adieu, let’s get started!

Be 70

Contrary to popular belief, you actually do need to post on a level 70 character to be a successful troll. While many feel that one should post on an alt, say, a level 2 Warlock named “Skillcoil”, this is actually counterproductive.

As a troll, you want people to listen to you, and then argue with you. If the little avatar to the left of your post is anything besides a level 70, you will be completely ignored on principal.

By posting on a level 70, you guarantee that other forum goers will read what you say.

If, for instance, you post a guide to mage forum trolling on an alt, you will be ignored, and recieve responses such as “Post on your main”.

But, if you post a guide to mage forum trolling on an actual level 70 mage, you open up a whole new field of responses: ascii art of Ollie, QFT’s, stupid arguments, and even other people on their alts trolling you!

“Welfare” Gear

It is important to have gear on your character that will draw scorn from the majority of the forum community. Unfortunately, blues and greens do not count. If you attempt trolling in quest rewards, you will appear legitimately undergeared and “bad”, and any argument you make will be invalidated.

Instead, try to get a full set of “honor” gear. Maybe toss in some epics that require a massive amount of grinding, such as engineering goggles or blacksmithing weapons.

This shows that you have commitment to the game, and have spent literally dozens of hours PvP’ing, yet you are STILL awful!

This will provide much needed credibility to you’re trolling efforts.

Get a Title!

But it can’t be a title that shows that you were ever good at anything. “Gladiator”, for instance, is not a good title, as it shows that you were good at PvP at one point. This is unacceptable (see next point for details). Not even something like “Hand of Ad’al” is any good – that requires raiding, and you want to limit your raid experience as much as possible.

Instead, get a title that, once again, shows you play the game a lot, yet still “fail” at it. [Name] of the Shattered Sun, for instance, is perfect!

Bad Ratings

This here is key. When people armory you’re character, what should they see? A high rated Moonkin/Mage 2v2? No! They should see absolutely awful arena teams! Bonus points for having an excellent comp and still failing.

Try to have a team in the 1300′s, or even 1200′s if you can manage it. Even better if you can get a personal rating higher than the team (i.e. if the team has a rating in the 1200′s, try to get a personal rating in the 1300′s). This shows that you play arena with people worse than yourself [i]by choice.[/i]

Bad Talents and Enchants

Now here is where you need to get clever. Any moron can go get their bracer enchanted with +7 strength. But you, my friend, are a professional troll. Show some creativity!

For instance, try enchanting your chest with +6 all stats! Or +50 health! Or put +8 Stamina on your boots! Feel free to mix and match, just make sure your clever about it!

As to talents, you must have a deep frost build with arcane support. A lot of the high end mages use this type of spec, show you know enough to blindly copy and paste builds! At first glance, you’re spec will seem solid, but again, be creative! Try putting points into Magic Absorption instead of Clearcast, and see where that takes you!

Note: Don’t bother getting bad gems, there far two cliche.

Bad at Raiding

Even if you post some truly stupid comments about PvP, chances are good that you may be quite good at raids. Who knows? You might have Illidan on farm and only be awful with arenas.

You need to appear bad at the game in general. Aim to have the primary raiding reputations (Ashtongue Deathsworn, Scale of the Sands, and The Violet Eye) no higher than friendly, neutral if you can manage it.

Inane Spelling

This is key to frustrating the people who read what you type. Don’t make blatant errors like spelling “you” “u”, or “people” “ppl”, be more clever with you’re spelling mistakes! Do things like use the wrong kind of there; use “you’re” when you mean “your”; completely ignore that whole “I before E” shenanigans; or even throw in words from other languages that sound right! Adieu, for instance, is a perfect replacement of “ado”.

Follow these simple steps, and your well on you’re weigh to being a truly excellent troll!

Note: It was late and I am tired.

About these ads