This Is Not a Copout Post

Every now and then, I like to go take a look at my blog stats, and see what’s up. For example, in February, this little blog had precisely this many hits. Seriously, 9,027 hits. That’s a lot for some random mage who likes to say “BLAH” to his friends.

What the hell is making me so popular? It was around yesterday that I discovered that wordpress automatically saved all the information of how people are getting to my blog. So like any good blogger does when he’s drunk out of his mind and has difficulty remembering his own name, I present… A Not Copout Post!

So how are the masses getting to my humble little site?

• “Critical QQ” Yep! That’s me!
• “Mage Addons 2.4″ Most of ‘em are updated now. NECB has an alpha out that seems to be working fairly decent. Except for the fatal errors whenever I polymorph somebody who is a member of my part.
• “Naturenemy Castbar” Ooh, you really like this ‘un, don’t you? The alpha for 2.4 is available here, just go down to where it says “current version” and grab it there. Again, keep in mind that it’s an alpha. The guy rewriting it didn’t exactly get a whole lot of time to rewrite it, what with 2.4 being on the PTR for all of sixteen seconds.
• “Flask of Mighty Restoration” What? This ain’t no magey flask! Hrm, well, I guess you went through all the effort of getting here.Well, there’s this that alchemists can make, and this which you get from that Shattrath potion vendor. I highly recommend these flasks if you find yourself wanding when the boss is at 75%.
• “Arcane Explosion: Damage Area Cap” Yes, this did recieve a buff in 2.4. A 50% buff, raising it’s maximum possible damage from 6730 to 10000. (Well, roughly. Give or take about a dozen damage)
• “Ice Barrier 2.4″ Using lower ranks carries the same penalty that all other shieldy spells and heals do. For those not familiar with this, it essentially means that your actual maximum spell damage values for that ability do not apply to their full strength on lower ranks. A healing ability at Rank 9, for example, gets 100% of your healing, while Rank 8 might only get 85%. This now applies to Ice Barrier because it scales with spell damage. Essentially Blizzard’s way of saying “Haha, that was all mighty fun, but we must return to following the rules again. Sorry about that old chap”. No, I didn’t steal that from Ego. I said it in a British accent!
• “Ice Lance now has a 6 sec cooldown” LIES! ALL LIES! Whoever told this to you should be shot behind a shed. With supersoaker. Filled with kerosene. THEN LIT ON FIRE.
• “NECB addon” Wow, this little puppy really is popular. Lemme get this over with…

DO NOT PANIC. NECB IS BEING UPDATED BY A NEW AUTHOR. FEAR NOT.

• “Stormstrike server” Technically it’s a battlegroup. And we suck. Don’t transfer here.
• “2.4 hell” If you consider all of your addons being flayed by a cucumber over a pile of burning rabbits, then yes.
• “Poached bluefish” That would be this. Spell damage food buff. Get it. Eat it. Go kill [expletive that rhymes with "hit"].
• “NECB addon” For pete’s sake!
• “MSD mage” See here for my heartfelt goodbye to the Mystical Skyfire Diamond. He had a good run.
• “I play wow all day” I DO NOT. WHO SAID THAT. I WILL LOG ON TO MY 70 AND DESTROY THEM.
• “49 Hunter twink Marksman” Uhm… what? This confuses the hell out of me. This is a MAGE blog. About Mages?
• “Shattered Sun Reputation” You want a guide? Go elsewhere! You won’t find any useful information here.
• “Pulling Aggro + warlock” Presumably, since this is a blog about MAGES, you are talking about aggroing a warlock. Quick tip. NEVER DO THAT. Warlock’s are immune to taunt. No one will be able to save you. Ice Block and hope for the best.
• “Most bonus damage for mage?” OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAANNDD!!!!
• “High crit frost build” It’s called “Putting points in the frost tree”

Wait a second. If these people are finding my blog based on this… by simply reposting exactly the same key words, I’m going to keep getting hits from the exact same people… Hmm…….

LESBIAN ASIAN TEEN BLACK BREAST ASS ASIAN SCHOOLGIRL TENTACLE GAG BONDAGE BOOBIES.

There. That should get me some decent hits.

But do I even want these people visiting my blog? This is a MAGE blog, after all, not an ASIAN GIRL BOOBIES blog.

Hrm.

STRING THEORY PLATO RUBBER DUCK MICROPHONE BLIZZARD POWDER IMPACT CIRCULATION CREATIONIST HYPOPHARYNGOSCOPE.

(Don’t be alarmed if you don’t know what that last one was)

Well, that’s enough of that. I’m going to go pass out now.

…

BOOBIES.