While bored out of my skull at work, desperately attempting to do anything except my job. Piss of, Chicago, my poop is green. I have more important matters to attend to.
So I decided to research the possible causes of my pine green poo. First stop, wikipedia. Type in “Green Poop”, guess what comes up? Tom Green, that’s who.
Ok, moving on from that. I pore through several FDA sites, try to find any information that I can. Y’see, the FDA have these huge databases of the effects that many chemicals have on the digestive system.
So I finally find some information about chemicals known to change the color of one’s feces, and peruse until I find something known to change the color to green. I come across this:
“FDA Blue #5 turns feces green when it reacts with bile in the intestine. This is considered harmless, as there is no documentation of ill effects”
Of course, you can find almost this exact sentence on wikipedia in the human feces article here.
So yeah. Apparently, at some point, I consumerd FDA Blue #5. When and where becomes the true question, so let’s run through what I’ve eaten:
- Raisin Bran, for breakfast, but I’ve eaten it many times before. Can’t be it.
- Most delicious Turkey Sandwich, have had this lots of times, no effect.
- Pizza? I rock band on a regular basis, and we have pizza a lot. Always the same pizza. Never had this effect. Nope.
- Bacon Poutine with maple syrup? No, I have this on a weekly basis, can’t be it. Hrm.
- Employee of the Month party, a rather large amount of cake was consumed. AHA! THERE IT IS! It was the cake all along!
The cake turned my poo green!